12 Simple Things You Can Do To Win Over Hearts

When I thought about writing this, the first thing that came to my mind was:

Remember this scene from F.R.I.E.N.D.S? People want to be liked.

Imagine you go to your office every day and you’re greeted with enthusiastic hellos from all of your co-workers and you feel good. You feel good because you’re liked by many people. I guarantee that everyone reading this has met at least one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and instantly become friends with everyone of them. Not that you should seek validation from others, but this art of networking with others is quite rare.

So, let’s begin with the secrets that lie behind this:

1. Suspend your ego

Because it’s not about you. It’s about them.

People don’t remember what you said, but they remember how YOU made them feel. So don’t win people over with your incredibly witty stories and your life incidents. Make THEM feel great, by showing interest in their story when they speak. When two people wait for their turn to speak, it is not a real conversation.

 

2. Smile

‘When you smile, the whole world smiles with you.’

It’s the simplest way to be likable and smiling is contagious. Seeing a smile makes other people happy, so if you’re smiling when you’re interacting with someone, he/she is more likely to find you likable and friendly.

 

3. Show a genuine interest in others

In Robert Dreeke’s book ‘It’s Not All About Me’, he teaches a great way to do that: ask real questions. If a person, in the middle of a great story, mentions something you want to ask more about, don’t interrupt. Instead, wait until they finish the story, and then say, “A couple of minutes ago you mentioned (insert your doubt). Will you please elaborate/clear my doubt on that?”

This does two things:

• It allows them to tell their story, without any interruptions.
• It shows them that you were genuinely interested in them.

 

4. Listen genuinely: most people love talking about themselves

Listening is hard. Most of the times people only think they are listening to the story, but in reality they are eagerly waiting for their turn to speak. Genuinely listening is about paying attention. What happens is when you listen to people, it makes them feel good and cared.

Great leaders are good listeners. When they listen, they actually listen. That’s why people like them, in turn listen to them, and flock around them. And that is how they win hearts.

 

5. Never be negative. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

Just because you have a brain and an opinion, doesn’t mean you can say anything to anyone. Words have a powerful impact and once you say it, you’re most likely to regret it afterward.

A person’s words are the most powerful things he or she has. It’s your job to keep them positive and reliable. So, if you have something to say, first ask whether it will hurt someone. Second, ask how what you say will benefit someone.

 

6. Don’t pass judgments

When you pass your judgments, people tend to sense it. Understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, choices, and mistakes. Likable people make this thing their philosophy to lead their life and, as long as no one is getting hurt, they don’t pass judgment on the value or morality of another person.

 

7. Don’t seek attention

While you’re trying to be likable, don’t try seeking attention from others. Most people tend to do ridiculous things just to seek other people’s attention.

Don’t seek attention; acquire respect. Not only does it last longer, but it’s also a genuine reflection of how others feel about you… and it also reflects how you feel about yourself.

People are averse to those who are desperate for attention. You don’t need to develop a big, extroverted personality to be likable. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over.

 

8. Don’t take yourself so seriously, make jokes at your own expense

Making a few jokes at your own expense can be fun. It can break the ice with new acquaintances, get a chuckle or two from the crowd, show that you don’t take yourself too seriously – all of which go a long way of creating a first impression.

But don’t take it too far as it can mean pandering for attention and fishing for compliments.

 

9. Provide value

When someone asks you trivial questions, say for example – What should I get my mom for her birthday, or anniversary, offer some realistic suggestions/feedback. People everywhere have little-big problems that they wouldn’t mind inviting some help for. But as people, we tend to be self-involved and not notice. If you take notice and help people solve their problems, you’ll share a good rapport with that person.

We, being the self-centered creatures that we are, ultimately like those who provide something of value to us. So if you can accomplish the final task, the demand for your presence will never cease.

 

10. Be humble

Instead of trying to be special, notice how you’re the same as others. Realize that accomplishing more than others doesn’t make you better. No matter how hard we work and what we accomplish we should not let that proud feeling turn extreme and affect the relationships that we share with people.

When you’re humble even after achieving a lot of things in life, people like you and they respect you even more.

 

11. Offer love

Lots of it. Don’t be stingy, dole it out like marmalade, not dabble it on. Let people know that you love them. People love listening to this.

 

12. Win people, not arguments

Enough said. 😉

See? You just have to be more engaged, more respectful, and hence, you become more likable. You simply have to develop these habits. Or else, you can pull a Chandler and share people’s secrets so that they end up liking you! ;P

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