Guy Says He & His Wife Haven’t Had Sex Even 9 Months After Arranged Marriage, Seeks Help Online

For any kind of relationship to work out, there has to be communication. If two people cannot communicate their feelings to each other, there is no way that the relationship will work out. Because this idea of a person just knowing what the other person is feeling or going through happens only in movies. In real life, if there is a problem, it has to be addressed and solved together. Here’s an example.

A guy took to Reddit’s r/AskReddit subreddit to ask if it is normal for a couple to not consummate their arranged marriage 9 months into it. He further explained that he and his wife lack chemistry and love and that they have fights on a regular basis.

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“I was of the idea that chemistry and love will eventually happen after we’ve spent enough time with each other. It’s been 9 months and we still haven’t had sex. We fight almost every day (unrelated to the not having sex part) and kind of can’t even look each other in the eye when talking. We haven’t done anything bad to each other – we just have polar opposite backgrounds and personalities. Despite all the fights, we do have good moments,” he wrote.

He went on to add that every time he mentions sex, his wife gets riled up and starts judging him for it.

“I don’t pressure my wife for sex but ask regularly what the issue is. She says all I think about is sex and I don’t care about making her comfortable. She says she was shocked I had a condom with me on my first night – that girls need a few months to get comfortable with their partner before doing the deed. And that because we’ve had so many fights she has lost any good feelings for me.”

He sought advice from anonymous people online and asked if it is normal to have a “sexless” marriage. Have a look at his full post here:

Is it normal to not have consummated your marriage 9 months into it?
byu/Facing_thesun inAskIndia

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Various people had various kinds of opinions regarding his issue.

There were some who asked him to try couples therapy.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

There were also people, especially women, who asked him to subtly and sensitively bring up the topic of sex in front of his wife.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

The husband first has to make sure if the wife is comfortable talking about sex, sexuality and her past sexual experiences.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

On the other hand, there were some who downright said that this isn’t normal, even in cases of arranged marriage and they should seek help. If therapy or communicating doesn’t work, then they should definitely get separated.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

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Having kids out of the blue is definitely out of the question.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

There were a few who asked him to start from scratch. Even though they are married, they could first start dating each other, get to know one another, and slowly develop a relationship.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

Sometimes, getting an annulment or a divorce is the best option.

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byu/Facing_thesun from discussion
inAskIndia

What are your views on this topic?

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