30 Things You Want To Say To Your Uterus When It Just Won’t Cooperate

Let’s face it ladies, our uterus can be one psycho bitch sometimes. She’s the gift that keeps on giving. And this is what you feel like saying to her when she just refuses to corporate

1 . Every month? You’re prepping for a kid every month? I’m 11 myself.

2. C’mon I’m 17, it’s high time you open your taps now.

3. You ruined my most expensive pair of panties. Thanks.

4. Where is so much blood coming from?

5. I don’t plan on putting a fetus inside you. Stop with your tantrums.

6. Pad. Panty. Pajama. Bed Sheet. And now mattress. WOW!

7. Bravo! Your personal best. *claps hard*

8. You’re 5 days late, I’m going to Goa next week:

9. Forgot to use a condom last night. Don’t get the wrong signal.

10. Really Don’t.

11. You’re crazy actually, I might as well pop a pill.

12. BOUNDARIES. You can’t just start with your bloodshed on his penis.

13. You are very messy.

14. Clean up after yourself.

15. Thanks for inculcating a phobia of white pants in me.

16. My favorite skinny jeans won’t fit cause of you.

17. Please let me have birthday sex?

18. He’s coming for two days. Long distance is hard. I need the action.

19. Thanks for having a mind of your own. Always.

20. Stop using me as your punching bag.

21. You want to play right now. Really?

22. I’m in the middle of office

23. How did those f*cking sperms reach you?

24. I’ve been trying for 4 months, please keep my bun in your oven? *puppy face*

25. You better grow my kid nicely.

26. You’re pushing my kid out too hard. I feel like pooping!

27. Menopause really? Argh. You give THE WORST gifts.

28. I feel hot and I want to pee. All the time.

29. You’re a sadist.

30. JK. Love you. HAA! No, I don’t.

#KThanksBye