At first glance, the world of online dating apps seems like a lavish buffet that you’d want to eat for all your meals. But a closer look reveals the tasteless truth: it’s the same menu everyday.
Nevertheless, I ventured into this world, wary-eyed and shrewd-minded, hoping to find something that would appease my palate.
At a time when your ‘dateability’ is determined by a single swipe within mere seconds, you cannot blame people for choosing the hot-looking biryani over the okayish-looking tindi ki subzi. When it came to your dating profile, it was pictures over bios.
I was sure even I was being judged on the very same parameters by the opposite sex.
So I succumbed to the norm and uploaded my pictures laced with filters. I mean, I still looked like me. But, what the hell, everyone does it. Right?
I had a date! We’d decided to meet for drinks at this fancy new bar on a Saturday night. Our phone conversations had been an absolute laughter riot. He understood my Star Wars references, and he loved that I could quote all his favourite Andaz Apna Apna dialogues. But meeting in person was a completely different affair.
I was nervous about how I looked. This guy was a total hottie and I didn’t want to seem, well, too vanilla for him.
But when I saw him walk into the bar, vanilla was the least of my worries.
He was different from his pictures on his dating profile. I’m not naïve to think photos on dating apps are 100% legit all the time. But this person that walked in and sat down opposite me was pretty much unrecognizable from the pictures I’d spent hours mooning over.
This was not your routine Snapchat airbrushing wearing off to reveal the truth. He may have looked exactly like his pictures at some point in his life. And that point was probably years ago. His face had changed; his features were rounder. His hair was styled differently, which made him look older somehow. He had definitely put on weight and there were other things too that I couldn’t place. No, it could not have been only filters. There was some bizarre sorcery at work here!
Now, I knew I wasn’t a beauty queen myself, nor was I shallow enough to dismiss a guy over something as superficial as his looks. But it wasn’t that simple anymore, was it?
I felt deceived because my expectations weren’t met.
It was about to get real awkward. I somehow managed to place an order for drinks amidst my internal misgivings. I could barely hear him making small talk over the sound of my illusions shattering. He was struggling to steer the conversation to something familiar but my facial expressions and lack of enthusiasm to respond was becoming noticeable. Something had to be done.
I excused myself to use the ladies room. Inside, I pulled out my phone and checked his profile again. There he was, posing for candids like a model for a high-fashion brand. But the guy sitting outside was also him, only he looked like a badly sketched version of this hunk.
You know how some people like the pulpy kind of orange juice while others prefer it without the pulp? It’s orange juice alright, but different textures. This guy was not the texture I preferred.
I was debating my next move, when I glanced at my phone screen again. Our chat from the night before had been so much fun. He sure knew how to keep things interesting. Not too cheesy yet just the right amount of flirt. I could imagine what a real charmer he would’ve been when he actually looked like his old self. The rare ‘complete package’.
But wait! He still was, wasn’t he? Only I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t even giving him a chance to show me the person he was. If the roles were reversed, would I be okay with being judged for my looks over my personality?
The initial surprise maybe justified but if I was still fussing over how he looked as opposed to who he was as a person, I could no longer defend myself. I was being ‘shallow’.
I realised I had been away for far too long. It was time to return to my date. But this time, I was leaving the judgment behind.
The End