The other day I was chatting with my friends and I said a word that meant something else in the realm of innuendos. My friends started laughing and I didn’t know what they were laughing at. So, I asked them and they told me the meaning of that word.
That word (which I will not mention here) had a completely twisted second meaning and I was visibly embarrassed because I didn’t know the word!
And this happens to me all the time. So, I decided to compile a list of the seemingly normal words that have been demolished by the colloquial crowd and twisted it to make it a slang of sex.
If you do not know the meaning of the following words in the other sense, Google them or just read the sentences, and you will understand – unless you also are an innuendo prude like me.
Take a lookie.
1. Buns
Don’t say – “I like buns, especially when they are buttered!”
OR – don’t go up to a lady who has tied up her hair in a coil on her head and say “I like your bun!”
Say – “I like the small cakes with raisins in them.”
OR – “I like your hair.”
2. Butter
Don’t say – “I like to put a lot of butter on them buns.”
Say – “I like buttered bread.”
3. Hammered
Don’t say – “I like getting hammered every weekend.”
Say – “I like getting drunk every weekend.”
4. Bang
Don’t say – “He made me so angry I wanted to bang him!”
Say – “He made me so angry I wanted to beat him up!”
5. Willy
Don’t say – “Say hi to Willy from me!”
Say – “Say hi to Willy Fernandes! I miss him!”
6. Spank
Don’t say – “I like spanking kids.”
Say – “Kids should be disciplined.”
Disclaimer: This is just a usage example. Don’t beat your kids. 🙂
7. Come
Don’t Say – “I came last night!”
Say – “I arrived yesterday, in the evening.”
8. Teabag
Don’t say – “I like teabags, generally.”
Say – “I do not prefer tea leaves in my tea, thank you.”
9. Wood
Don’t say – “That is some fine piece of wood you got there Sharmaji!”
Say – “The raw material for your furniture looks good Sharmaji!”
10. Rack
Don’t say – “What a nice rack you have!”
Say – “Your carpenter did a fine job building your furniture!”
11. Joysticks
Don’t say – “Dude, your joystick is so smooth!”
Say – “Dude, your game controller is so smooth!”
12. Popsicles
Don’t say – “I like eating popsicles.”
Say – “I like frozen desserts/ice cream on a stick.”
13. Bad boy
Don’t say – “You’ve been a bad, bad boy!”
Say – “You are a very undisciplined boy!”
14. BBC
Don’t say – “I really love watching BBC.”
Say – “I love watching British news channels.”
15. Bum Chums
Don’t say – “We are bum chums!”
Say – “We are very good friends!”
16. Bush
Don’t say – “You have got such a big bush!”
Say – “Your garden needs a lot of work!”
17. Cross Dresser
Don’t say – “He is such a cross dresser!”
Say – “He really likes dresses with crosses on them, doesn’t he?”
18. Facial
Don’t say – “Ankita likes getting a facial every other week.”
Say – “Ankita likes to go to the beauty parlour every week.”
19. Melons
Don’t say – “I really love diving into melons!”
Say – “I really love eating big fruits!”
20. Pearl necklace
Don’t say – “I really like pearl necklaces on me!”
Say – “I like necklaces made of pearls! They are so pretty!”
21. Plow
Don’t say – “Wow! That guy is really plowing hard!”
Say – “Wow! that farmer is working really hard on his field!”
22. Poke
Don’t say – “I like poking girls!”
Say – “I like annoying girls!”
23. Cherry
Don’t say – “Can I eat that cherry?!”
Say – “Can I eat that piece of fruit, ma’am?”
24. Rubber
Don’t say – “Can I borrow your rubber, man?”
Say – “Can I borrow your eraser for some time?”
25. Shaft
Don’t say – “Arun works with shafts.”
Say – “Arun works in air conditioning.”
26. Spunk
Don’t say – “That girl has got a lot of spunk in her!”
Say – “That girl is very spirited!”
27. Sword
Don’t say – “I like playing with swords!”
Say – “I like sword-fighting!”
P.S. – I used to call myself a spunky man.
*embarrassed beyond help*