‘Wear Ghunghat, Quit Job’, Desi Women Reveal What Suitors Expected Of Them Post Marriage

Watching marriages being arranged in India can be quite entertaining at times! Not only will you see the various prejudices people have, but will also be amazed by how well-to-do, “elite”, and “educated” families are deep-rooted in patriarchal standards of living. Women are expected to do so much – sit, walk, talk, look, behave the way your in-laws want. Families often seek well-educated brides, only for them to be locked up at home and look after the kitchen.

Speaking of which, women online have been sharing their experiences with arrange marriages and are revealing the shocking and bizarre things they were expected/asked to do by their in-laws post marriage. Have a look:

"I wake up at 5 am daily to perform puja. Don’t expect you to follow this, but since I head to work at 8 am, it would help if you could wake up with me and get breakfast and my work clothes ready.”

I was told this by a 29-yr-old potential match in 2008. https://t.co/RUVJADAnKJ

— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) July 25, 2020

I was asked if I could cook cause the guy stayed alone in Bangalore and doesn’t like food cooked by the maid, that I would have to put Ghunghat whenever I would have to visit sasural not just covering the head, but whole face has to be covered

— Godhuli (@godhuliaa) July 25, 2020

In another case I was asked to leave job and shift because that is what the sister-in-law did she got married to the guys elder brother. And obviously the guy cannot move out for job in a metro city

— Godhuli (@godhuliaa) July 25, 2020

In another case, the guys family stopped the discussion when I said I would financially support my family even after marriage.

— Godhuli (@godhuliaa) July 25, 2020

😂one of the 'matches' was a senior VP at some MNC bank.
he wanted a wife who knew how to host parties.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that i preferred quarter bars (in that era) 😀

— Harini Calamur (#StayHome) (@calamur) July 25, 2020

I'm 24. When I started my college, my aunt (who herself is an MD in surgery) told me that I shouldn't study a lot, it will deter me from getting a 'good' match as guys usually prefer someone less qualified than them.

— Ishita Roy (@Kyunrius) July 25, 2020

Your relatives make you feel like your entire existence is centred around a man. I ws one of the tallest in my school but all I got to hear at home was that it'll be a problem for me to find a match. You have the nerve to tell a 15-year-old that she'll never find someone? Freaks!

— Prerna Lidhoo (@PLidhoo) July 25, 2020

I was asked by a potential suitor to be “less ambitious” I had no idea until then, that there was a degree to ambition! 🤷🏻‍♀️#IndianMatchmakingistoxic https://t.co/t1mpmTuUK8

— anurupadongare💪🏼 (@anurupadongare) July 25, 2020

"if you don't look after my parents and do as they say I'll leave you". Was told by my would be husband. (It was a love marriage). By the time I understood the implications of this it was very late. Then I left him. https://t.co/ZYv6FI4rGT

— tikuli (@tikulli) July 25, 2020

"Since I would be away from home for months, you would have to quit your job and stay in Dehradun with my parents to take care of them."

I was told this by a 27-year-old potential match in 2016 who worked in Indian Navy. https://t.co/olmrJ8FEq6

— Nikita Jain (@Nikitajain2091) July 25, 2020

I was told by a friend and later suitor- fi we marry you can't use my first name to call me in front of my family! #IndianMatchmaking https://t.co/ZV3eA2qlhO

— Pooja Priyamvada #PsychologicalFirstAid (@SoulVersified) July 25, 2020

 

The more I read about people’s accounts of arranged marriages, the more I seethe in anger and disbelief. Male entitlement is a disease. https://t.co/srAgCTarIg

— Sulky (@sulkyoldsoul) July 25, 2020

I was proudly informed by my father in law that a party from Calcutta had offered him a blank cheque for his son.
Me: Oh! There’s an auction?

— Shilpa Gupta (@iamsc0rpi0) July 25, 2020

Isn’t it unsettling to see the various ways in which patriarchy operates in the different sections of the society? How can we say that women today are more “empowered” when even in the 21st century, women aren’t treated like independent individuals – ones with their own choices and wishes?

Cover Source: Left.