The love marriage versus arranged marriage debate is a lengthy one. There is no one particular winner. There are love marriages that turn abusive in a couple of years. Partners who were once in love end up suffocating in each others’ presence. Similarly, many who have had an arranged marriage end up falling in love with each other and share a beautiful relationship full of joy and compassion. But that doesn’t mean there haven’t been cases where arranged marriages completely ruined the wife and/or the husband’s life. Here’s an example.
A woman took to Twitter to place shocking accusations against her in-laws and husband, with whom she had an arranged marriage. The woman said that she came from a progressive family, but was married off to a family with orthodox in-laws that drastically curbed her independence. She wasn’t allowed to visit her male friends, her voice was curtailed, her opinions and desires were dismissed, and her feelings were disregarded.
Arranged Marriages A Thread 🧵
As I sit here reflecting on my journey, I can’t help but share how drastically my life changed after getting married. I went from a modern, progressive family to orthodox in-laws, and the impact on my freedom and happiness has been profound.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
One of the first things I noticed was how my voice was curtailed. In my new family, my opinions and desires were often dismissed or overlooked. It felt suffocating to be constantly silenced and disregarded, as if my thoughts and feelings didn’t matter.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
Another significant change was the restriction placed on my friendships. I was no longer allowed to meet or spend time with my male friends, even those I had known for years. The arbitrary boundaries placed on my relationships felt like a heavy burden.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
She also didn’t want to conceive right after the marriage and chose to remain child-free for the first couple of years. The family pressure she faced because of it was intense and numbing. Even her family was dragged into it and were asked to keep her in check.
To add insult to injury, I was labeled a barren woman because I made a personal choice to delay having a baby for two years after getting married. The pressure to conform to societal expectations and conceive immediately was immense.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
The pressure extended beyond me to my family. They were constantly hounded and pressurized to keep me in check, to ensure I adhered to the orthodox norms set by my in-laws. It felt like my independence was being crushed from all directions.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
When she finally did get pregnant, she was allegedly abandoned. Her in-laws apparently didn’t help her financially and emotionally.
Eventually, when I did conceive, hoping for support, I found myself abandoned. My in-laws and even my spouse washed their hands off me and the baby. There was no financial help for the baby, no emotional support, just a stark desertion.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
The woman also claimed that she faced domestic abuse within the marriage. She is currently fighting for a divorce, which in our country is not an easy process.
As if the mental abuse wasn’t enough, domestic abuse also became a part of my daily existence. The once loving relationship turned into a nightmare, filled with fear and violence. The walls witnessed my pain, while the world remained oblivious.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
I have survived through it all, but the fight isn’t over. I’m still battling to get a divorce, to break free from the chains that bind me. Unfortunately, in this country, it’s not easy for a woman to separate unless the man agrees. It’s an uphill struggle.
— Chullu Supremacy (@diwaahdiva) May 30, 2023
If her story wasn’t painful enough, there were numerous people in the comments section questioning her intentions regarding child custody and alimony. The number of people who tried to vilify her experience and dehumanize her pain was shocking to see. But a lot of people who have had a similar experience or know somebody who went through the same thing stood in solidarity and offered their sympathies.
Even today, a woman speaking out against domestic abuse, emotional harassment and divorce is looked down upon in our society. It’s bizarre to see strangers on the internet, who have zero idea about what she went through, try to trample her voice. Such stories need to be told more openly so that people realize that this is not okay.