It is difficult to notice red flags, which appear obvious to others, when you are in love and in a relationship. Oftentimes, controlling behavior disguises itself as ‘care’ and ‘protection’. For example, has your guy ever asked you not to wear a particular item of clothing because he doesn’t “trust” other guys? Yep, that’s a red flag. How? Women online explained it well.
So, one woman took to Reddit to reveal that her boyfriend doesn’t allow her to wear a bikini not because he doesn’t trust her, but because he doesn’t trust other men.
“My boyfriend doesn’t want me wearing a bikini. He says that he does not trust other men if I was to wear something revealing when not with him. He has also stated that when he sees girls wearing things like that he thinks they do it for attention,” she said.
She went on to ask, “I work hard to improve my body. Why can’t I feel confident in something feminine? I would never wear something for the attention of another man.”
Read her entire post here:
My (22F) boyfriend (23M) doesn’t want me wearing a bikini from relationship_advice
What is interesting is that various women came up with various reasons why such a behavior is problematic and a major red flag. Of course, there is the argument of ‘Your body, your choice’, but some of the below explanations go on to prove how it is much more than that.
First argument: If the guy tries to control what you wear, he might try to control other aspects of your life as well.
Second argument: If a guy doesn’t trust you, it’s his problem and not yours.
Third argument: The guy himself probably views women in not a very dignified manner.
Fourth argument: This goes back to the tendency of holding women accountable for the actions of men.
Fifth and a very interesting argument: The tendency to control your partner could also stem from your own insecurities and the feeling that your partner could do much better than you.
Sixth argument: If he is controlling, his own comfort and happiness matter more than yours.
Seventh argument: When a guy says he doesn’t trust other men, he is giving more importance to other guys’ decisions over yours.
Ask. Important. questions!
Eighth argument: If your partner is REALLY concerned about your safety, he should come up with a constructive solution instead.
And finally, this:
What do you think of this issue? Tell us!