Most of us love the idea of learning someone’s deep dark secrets. Hence, stumbling upon someone’s personal diary promises a plethora of revelations. But if that diary belongs to your spouse, it can be even more intriguing to discover precisely what they think about you, right? But it is not always a good idea though. Take it from this guy who dared to peek into his wife’s diary but the revelation wasn’t as pleasing as he would have expected.
Earl, 49, peeked into Bernie Stewart’s private thoughts only to find out that she wrote a poem about him. Reportedly, Bernie who likes to write poetry when she is upset penned how Earl was a ‘useless overweight loafer’ among other things. When she found Earl reading the poem, her heart sank. Although her poetry was just for laughs, she knew it would hurt Earl.
Here’s the poetry she wrote:
They don’t speak of nose hair or rims round the bath.
Or p*** on the toilet seat, hair in the brush,
Or pimples or stretch marks or syphilis or thrush.
No songs on endless rows about pointless sh*t,
That often your partner will act like a t**.
And f*** you off so much that you want him gone,
They just speak of bullplop, how he is ‘The One’.
Yeah, he is ‘The One’ who stinks out the loo,
When he’s in there for hours, taking a poo.
Who leaves off the toothpaste and shampoo lid,
Who’s grumpy and moany and acts like a kid.
He is the useless, overweight loafer,
‘The one’ who farts loudly whilst sat on the sofa.
Hogging the remote whilst he clips his toenails,
Watching football, or cop shows or world’s toughest jails.
‘The One’ who is constantly adjusting his b****.
‘Oh he is ‘The One’, Christ yes, he’s my ‘all’!
My world and my everything, he is my life,
I wish I’d said ‘no’ when he said, “Be my wife”!
So when they all sing about meeting ‘The One’,
Wait ‘till they see what comes out of his bum!
“After writing my poem about Earl I read it back and laughed. It was tongue-in-cheek and only meant for me, to make me feel better. So when I left my tablet on the kitchen table and caught Earl reading the poem in my memo app, I got a horrible sinking feeling. He went mad. We had a huge row and though I tried to explain it was only meant to be a laugh, I knew my words had hit him hard,” she said.
But the poetry hit Earl in just the right places who then decided to get his own back. The construction worker went on a strict diet and was able to shed his beer belly. In just three months his daily workouts and healthy eating habits have left him with a rippling six-pack. So much so that he reportedly ended up entering a bodybuilding competition.
Explaining why she recklessly fat-shamed her husband, Bernie said, “Though our relationship was strong, my husband had always been vain and kept in shape, which meant he couldn’t help picking on me and my weight. I felt in pretty good shape throughout most of our relationship, but he still made mean comments, like ‘I can see your belly through your top’ and ‘you’re really bottom heavy’. It really bugged me. I had always battled with my body shape and was overweight before we met.”
She further adds that she was provoked into writing the poem because of Earl’s constant comments about her fluctuating weight throughout her two pregnancies. But after the couple travelled to Spain with their two kids, Earl started eating and drinking too much. “He became podgy without even realising it, yet still had the cheek to call me fat,” Bernie said. So one day she started tapping away on her iPad.
Although she knew that her cutting poetry impacted Earl, she was happy that he realised it himself and started working on it. Talking about it, Earl said, “I can’t say I wasn’t a tad p***** off when I read Bern’s poem, but everything happens for a reason. I suppose I have been a bit harsh in the past about her weight, but it was mostly for laughs. Now we are motivating each other to be healthy and are definitely much happier.”
Do you think Bernie should have spoken to Earl about his weight? Or do you believe all’s well that ends well! Tell us.