I’ve had bad first dates, I’ve even had nightmarish first dates but when I happened upon a link on reddit, I knew that mine would never make it to the list of the weirdest first dates. If you’ve ever had a bad date and you can’t stop squirming thinking about it, here’s something to occupy your mind!
1. When you wish for a threesome but get the wrong kind.
“Showed up for internet based date. She shows up with a dude. Expected me to pay for them both to eat and drink for the evening. WTF?”
2. This got dark really fast!
“Met a guy at the skate park when I was 14, he asked if I’d go out with him the next day. I thought he was gorgeous, and when he said I should dress up I expected something special. He took me to his little sister’s funeral.”
3. When he’s got friends that you can’t even see.
“I get off work, head to the coffee shop, and he’s waiting. He tries to buy me my drink, but the barista laughed and just handed it to me and walked away to make his. Then we get a table and start off with the normal first date chatting.
About half way through the cups of coffee, he tells me he needs to refill his prescription but would like to go out again. Okay, fair enough. Though I did ask what prescription. I then get told he is on meds to keep the purple people from talking to him too much. The purple people tell him to do things, and rearrange his apartment when he is sleeping. I was waiting for a punch-line, I kept thinking it had to be a joke. But then it was okay, they had told him they approved of me and that was why he had asked me out.”
4. When the courting ends with a job offer!
“The first time I dated someone from Tinder, the date turned out to be a recruiting event for one of those Costa Coffee pyramid scams.
Apparently the guy was missing his quota so he used Tinder as a recruiting tool. Unfortunately for him, I realized quickly what it was and left ASAP. Fuck that guy.”
5. Are we heading in the Cersei and Jamie direction?
“Was out at a bar, had a successful first drink and when we were getting seconds he had to give his last name to the bartender for the tab. Turns out he has my mother’s maiden name and our families are from the same area in small town MN… We’re probably cousins.”
6. Maybe we are.
“Went on a blind date, show up to the restaurant and the girl is my cousin…”
7. Dating daddy’s little girl be like…
“Date lied about her age. Turns out she didn’t have her license, and her parents ended up driving her there and stayed for the meal. Ended up meeting the parents on the first date with my date. I got a free meal out of it so it wasn’t all bad.”
8. It’s my way or the highway… always choose the highway.
“Went on a date to a sushi bar with this guy, pretty cute, met online. He ordered Ramen for us both because it was the best side to sushi I guess. I am not a chopstick master, I tried using them and kept dropping noodles and making a mess, so I asked for a fork from the waiter. Date starts SCREAMING “You do not use a fork! It is disrespectful! You are supposed to use chopsticks! If you can’t than don’t eat it!” The waiter stared at him, then looked at me “It’s okay if you need a fork.” I had tears in my eyes and just mumbled “No thanks, I’ll be going.” Handed him some cash and left.”
9. First date with the wrong person, or was it?
“On my very first date ever, I go to a movie with my girlfriend that I also had my first kiss with about a week earlier at a dance. She doesn’t mention anything about this, but she ends up bringing her sister. Her IDENTICAL TWIN sister. I had no idea who was who all date long and didn’t find a way to ask. She later tells my friend she thinks I am more into her sister than her. Very awkward. Much confused.”
10. When your date becomes a war zone.
“I told this one before, but when I was I was in high school I went out on a date with this girl I had a big crush on. We went to the zoo and then grabbed some food as a diner. Afterwards, we had to split up in order to get our trains that were going in the opposite direction. I awkwardly tried to lean in for a kiss, while she went in to hug me, and I ended up headbutting her in the face and her nose started bleeding. I was embarrassed as fuck, so I just asked, “Are you okay” and when she said, “I think so” I just waved goodbye and walked away into the train station facepalming really hard”
11. The guys who’ve never heard of feminism. Ever.
“I went out for coffee with a classmate. He showed up half an hour late wearing baggy sweatpants with suspicious stains all over them. I had been amusing myself by doing the crossword while waiting on this guy, and when he arrived, he sat down and pulled my crossword over to him. He looked at it for a moment and then said, “Women who read are fine and all, but it isn’t very attractive to show off.”
12. We don’t accept compliments easily, because we’re stuck with this kind of crap.
“My weirdest first date was with an older man, a mortician, who, half way through our date, thought he’d pay me a compliment. “You’d make a lovely corpse.” was his brand of loving comments.”
13. When you’re building some really strong family relations.
“I was on a meet-the-parents dinner date with my HS boyfriend. We get to the restaurant and I noticed that my Chemistry teacher from the year prior was out to dinner there. Turns out it was his dad. I scraped through Chem with a ‘D’ because I had flirted heavily with the teacher.”
14. You hoped this would end in the back of his car but it ends in the back of a cop car.
“First date with this guy, simple dinner and a movie. On the way home, driving down the highway, he decides to start driving 110 in a 65 mph zone. He got pulled over and subsequently arrested. His mom has to come and drive me home. Needless to say, I never went out with him again.”
15. This couldn’t have gotten any worse, but now atleast they’ll have scars to show for this brave effort!
“A month ago I went on a first date with a guy, we hit it off, he was walking me home afterwards, and decided to do one of those romantic moves where the guy dips the girl and then kisses her…only he miscalculated, slamming the back of my head into the sidewalk. I ended up with a moderate traumatic brain injury and he broke his finger trying to stop the fall. We were right outside a hospital when this happened so we ended our date in the ER with all of the staff cracking up at the ridiculous story we had to tell.”
16. Creepers everywhere.
“First and LAST date. I went out to dinner with a man I met when we were coworkers. While we were having dessert his parents showed up.They invited me back to see their home. so, I went. got the tour, saw their honeymoon car in the garage and they sat me down in the living room and started asking me about details regarding my wedding to their son. I had driven my own car to the date. I drove the hell out of there at light speed. No. No no no.”
17. I saved the best for last.
“My name is Andrea, his name was Sam. I though he was a girl, he thought I was a girl as well. Realised we were 2 dudes and said goodbye to each other.”
Which one did you find the most bizarre?