You know what’s more precious than gold, solitaire and all that crap? A working/studying man’s weekend. They don’t come by often enough, they disappear before you say puff and somehow never turn out the way you planned them. Each time your eyes wander to the corner of your laptop where it says Thursday, you start planning like it’s the last weekend of your life.
1. Expectation: ‘I’m so going to cook some awesome sauce homemade maa ki daal and chawal’
Reality: ‘Hello, yes I’d like a Chicken Salami Pizza with extra cheese. Don’t forget the garlic bread’.
2. Expectation: ‘I’m finally going to clean my room and find my lost key/card/picture/life’.
Reality: Drops breadcrumbs from aforementioned pizza, clothes from cupboard and empties contents from bag to look for lipgloss. ‘Oh well, clean on Monday then’.
3. Expectation: ‘OHMAAGODDDD Aarti, we need to go to try this new place it’s all the way on the other end of town, but it’s kickass. *After 10 mintures* ‘Karishma, dude, I can totally come for a movie after a beer’.
Reality: *Makes two calls* ‘Hey, why don’t you get some beers and come home, I’ll download the movie’.
4. Expectation: ‘I’m going to finish this book i’ve been reading.
Reality: *Ends up looking through gossip columns online, all day long*
5. Expectation: ‘I’m going to do all my laundry today and iron the creases out of even my underwears’.
Reality: *Monday morning* ‘I can invert my chads inside out and wear them, right?’.
6. Expectation: I’m so going to complete one whole course from my MBA textbooks today’
Reality: *Drools on Quantitative Aptitude while sleeping*
7. Expectation: ‘I’m going to go to the Gym twice in a day this weekend’.
Reality: ‘I did 5 and a half crunches on the bed, that counts for a lot’.
8. Expectation: ‘Let’s drive down to Lonavala Sunday morning and go to Pawna lake!’
Reality: *Wakes up at 6pm on Sunday evening* ‘Pictures of pawna are just as good’.
9. Expectation: ‘I’m going to call my school friends and catch up with them’.
Reality: *Ends up watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S all day*
10. Expectation: ‘I’m so going to finish off some work, so I have lesser workload on Monday’.
Reality: YEAH RIGHT!
11. Expectation: ‘I’m finally going to ask that girl out on a date’
Reality: The only question you ask any female is your maid ‘Aunty, please kal jhaadu mar sakte ho? Aaj Sunday hai’.
12. Expectation: ‘I’m going to buy myself new pants this weekend, because the hole in my current ones just got a lot bigger’
Reality: *Sunday 11:59pm- Downloads shopping apps on phone*
13. Expectation: ‘I have to catch that gig, the artist is my favorite’
Reality: *Ends up listening to Jagjit Singh with dad*
If you’ve done these, don’t worry you aren’t alone in the world. If you haven’t, then your mom must be proud to have a full of energy, excited piece of enthu cutlet as her child.Â