We have all seen those brutally friend zoned screenshots that made us wince. So you got friend-zoned? No big deal. But the worst part is that “-_-” look on your face when you get a reply, and you wish you had said something at that moment.
So let me put into words a reply from the other side of the friend zone, on behalf of those poor souls who have been struck down for no good reason. (though that can’t be said for all)
1. How did this conversation even happen?
“Oh come on! Why don’t you just build a high fence around me already? And put spikes on top of it for good measure.”
2. Hellooo… Anybody there?
“Seriously? I mean really…seriously?!! I can see that you are online!!” … Before you think of calling them and asking whether they DID receive those fateful texts.
3. Then there’s this poor soul…
“Here’s a knife. Now slowly stab me to death because that will be a better way to die than to die of embarrassment.”
4. And he did not see that one coming…
“Wow. Brutal much? Who did you take lessons from – Mogambo?”
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5. Apparently boys are good at applying nail paint
“There’s nobody MORE like me…than ME! :/ Also, I lost half my testosterone while applying that nail paint. ”
6. Take a hint already!
“I planned this for two weeks. Would it kill you to acknowledge that I like you?”
7. Even Superman has to face the friend zone
“Good friends. Close friends. Best friends. Just friends. Any other term you would like to tag me in, so that I won’t get out of this pit?”
8. And of course, pulling out the “I am in a relationship” card
“I just complimented you; I did not ask you to move to Africa with me and adopt thirteen kids. A thank you would have sufficed.”