A person’s sexual orientation isn’t what defines them. But somehow our gay/lesbian friends suffer underneath a load of questions thrown at them. Some of them are well-meaning and something they’d love to answer for you but some are just plain distasteful.
If you want to save both of you some trouble, then we recommend you stay faaaarrrr away from these questions:
1. So who’s the guy/girl in the relationship?
Umm, we both are women in the relationship, thus, we’re lesbian. Which is exactly why there is no ‘guy’ in the relationship. Please don’t conform to gender stereotyping, because we assure you that we can co-exist just fine without a man.
2. Are sure you’re gay? I mean you don’t look gay.
Is there a look for it? Do I have to walk like a girl, wear colourful scarves and keep my wrist at a certain angle to believe I’m a gay guy? Is my knowledge of my own sexuality not enough?
3. OMG! I love gay people, will you come shopping with me?
Just because I’m a gay guy, doesn’t mean I’m good at shopping, it doesn’t mean I love hanging out at the mall picking out your summer wardrobe.
4. When did you turn gay?
Umm, I was about the size of your brain. That’s when.
5. So what about 377?
What about it? Does that stop me from being who I am ? Does it make me any less gay? Does it scare me from identifying with my sexuality? No. Does it make me wish for a better world? Yes, it does.
6. You are so lucky you don’t have to deal with boys. I wish I was gay.
Yes that is the sole reason I became lesbian, to avoid boys. Relationships are complicated. Period. Whether it’s with a girl or a boy, it’s still the same level of understanding, trust and love. I’m not best friends with my girlfriend, I’m in love with my girlfriend.
7. Sometimes I feel I’m a lesbian.
Oh, do you now? That’s great, now you just need to convince your sexual orientation to switch and you’re good to go. 😐
8. So, how do you do it without one?
Like seriously. Do we get up, close and personal in your sexual details? No right? We’d appreciate the same from you. It’s very normal and nothing to be puzzled about, just a Google search away.
9. Look I love gay people but I’m straight so don’t fall in love with me.
Oh okay then. Sorry, I thought you were going to be my future bride, I’d already planned our court registered wedding in 2050, by then it should be legal, our 3 gay children playing in the yard and our gay dog dashing through the front door. My bad.
10. What do aunty-uncle think about it?
While we are at it let me also tell you my parents views of politics, the decreasing value of rupee and their ideas on religion. The list of approves v/s disapproves would surprise you.
So when you’re introduced to a gay couple, don’t make them cringe at your questions!