It has been over a month since I moved out of our home to pursue what I love, to a different city. Everything is new over here, and although the people here have been living here since a long time, it still feels like uncharted territory to me. Like the first day of school, when I had to explore what lay on the other side of those gates.
To be frank, mother, I did not know what to expect.
Even though I had been gearing up for this job for a while, looking up and finalising every last detail, I have to be truthful to you that it all came as a shock. And every day when I encounter something new, I remember your words, “Learn. Constantly gain knowledge about what you don’t know. It will never go to waste.” It is being validated every day. Thank you, mother.
Even though I miss you, I refuse to accept it.
It is a part of everyone’s psychologies, I guess. We refuse to accept and face what makes us weak and vulnerable. I miss you, yes. In everything. Up until now, I’ve lived with you my entire life and have memories with you in every single thing I do in the day. So yes, you’re remembered right from waking up in the morning to making my bed in the night. But I don’t accept it, because I want to be strong.
I remember everything you’ve taught me, every moment of the day.
From making breakfast in the morning, to washing clothes in the evening, to changing my bedsheets, to buying house supplies, you’re remembered in every activity I do. For this, I cannot thank you enough. What you taught me as a child, for which I was constantly looking for ways to get out of, is now enjoyable when I do it alone and for myself.
You were the first person I thought of when I got my first paycheck.
I owe my success in a large part to you and father. You, especially. You not only imparted in me how to conduct myself with other people, but you also taught me the qualities I should uphold to make a good name for myself as well as my family. And the first paycheck I received today made me realise how important all of these lessons are for a man when he starts earning.
I cannot wait to come home as much as you.
No matter how much we fight and how much I tell you to leave me alone, the truth is that there is no place like home. Your presence makes the house a home, and I’d want to live in that feeling wherever you are, just to get over the feeling of longing. I can go with staying in another city for as long as I want, but I WILL want you for a detox every once in a while.
Yes, I am taking care of myself. Yes, I am having a good time here. Yes, I have made friends (somewhat). This is a new experience for me, and no matter how daunting or how amazing it may seem on random days, it is what I wanted and what I chose for myself, because I needed this experience to be truly independent and because I was curious to know what it is like to live alone and away from home.