If the words ‘Wohooo, let’s get our drink on’, doesn’t produce a cheer from you, then it means you fall in this dry as Gujarat area of partying. The struggles of being the sober one are as endless as JayZ’s problems.
Here’s a downlow on the sober life,
1. You feel like you’re driving for 80% of the party.
Drop drunk person 1, drop drunk person 2, runaway from drunk person’s mother, who thought you got her drunk.
2. You could write an exposé on everyone’s love/sex life at the party.
‘My girlfriend thinks i am too attached to my mother, what do you think i should do?’
3. The floor feels like a minefield.
You’re the only one with the fear of stepping into vomit, the drunk ones seem to be rolling happily in it!
4. You are the official hair holder, while everyone hurls their guts out.
Yes, I can see you ate Chinese for dinner. Good choice buddy. Good fucking choice.
5. People look at you as if you’re Jadoo from Koi Mil Gaya, when you say you’re not drinking.
‘Okay have Whiskey, that looks just like Coke, you won’t know the difference’. Ummm. Okay then.
6. You’re the only one who doesn’t look like this on the dance floor
You feel like Hrithik infront of their Govinda.
7. You’re the one who finishes all the Chakna.
While you’re friends are busy slurring and arguing about who’s more drunk, you can sneak away and eat all the food at the party. If someone asks, just convince their drunk self that they ate it all on their own!
8. The official keeper of phones and keys.
You could drive away in anyone’s car, since you have so many to choose from. If lightning struck, you’d be the first to catch fire. So you risk your life, just so that the drunk peeps don’t drunk text their ex and sing ‘Hello’ – Adele.
9. You end up playing candy crush to kill time till the last drunk person sleeps.
Now all those candy crush requests don’t seem meaningless anymore.
10. The next day, drunk people be approaching you like Yoda.
You seem to be the only person who has all the information, with no gaps in your memory whatsoever. So now a million people call you to ask ‘What happened last night, I don’t remember?!!’.
11. You have the power to alter drunk history.
On the plus side, you’re the only one who knows what really happened, so you can spin your own version of their drunk tales. “Yes bro, you totally tried to jack off to a sandwich, while yelling your cheese is mine!’