Most of us have or have seen our mothers keep separate tea cups or utensils for our house helps. While they wash all the utensils we use, they are instructed to use the ones designated to them.
This classist attitude towards the people who help us with our chores has been seen for ages in Indian households. They are so ingrained into everyone’s minds that even the helps think them using our things like how a normal human being would, can offend us.
Talking along these lines, Twitter user Unmana shared how we as a society have failed to give respect to our house helps, carpenters, auto wallas, delivery guys, and other domestic workers without whom our lives would be a mess.
In an eye-opening Twitter thread, the woman shared an incident that would make us rethink the people we’re becoming.
She shared that when a furniture repair guy visited her, she offered him a glass of water. After uncomfortably drinking from the glass, the man eventually asked her if she was okay with him touching the brim of the glass while drinking the water.
“Then he asked moonh laga sakte hai? We’re a horrible cruel society.”
I offered a glass of water to a furniture repair guy and didn't think much of it when he seemed to be drinking awkwardly. then he asked moonh laga sakte hai?
we're a horrible cruel society.
— Unmana (@Unmana) March 8, 2023
When she offered him a bottle filled with water to carry along, the guy gave her his own bottle to refill. His dry bottle made her think how long he must have waited for people to offer him something as basic as water.
I offered him a bottle of water to carry and he gave me his to fill up. it was dry. I wonder how long he carries it around before getting a chance to refill it.
— Unmana (@Unmana) March 8, 2023
She added that while she would have offered an entire water bottle to her friend, she gave the man a glass of water which even though can be cleaned isn’t supposed to be used by people who apparently don’t belong to our societal status.
I’d given him water in a glass and not a bottle–I might just hand a bottle to a friend because I’m always chugging from my bottles–just so he wouldn’t feel awkward. but apparently even glasses! meant to be used once and washed! aren’t to be touched by the oppressed castes.
— Unmana (@Unmana) March 8, 2023
The introvert in her wondered how many times she hadn’t offered water to people who were thirsty and don’t dare to ask for it.
I hate talking to people I have terrible social anxiety and I’m super introverted. and it makes me wonder how many times I didn’t offer water when I should have, to people who’re thirsty and don’t dare ask.
— Unmana (@Unmana) March 8, 2023
Her Twitter thread did make a lot of people question this practice, making them guilty of being so mean and cruel to others.
Some also shared how they do not indulge in such unfair practices making others love them even more.
Happens almost every-time I make tea for urban company guys. They are always in question mode seeing me using the same set of cup
— Chirag Barjatya (@chiragbarjatyaa) March 9, 2023
Same happened last week with me. I was beyond horrified
— 🚜 چھوی / Chhavi 😷 (@chhavi) March 8, 2023
I always make it a point to offer water, tea or snacks to whoever is providing me a service.
I always call them as sir and there is always a thank you. It baffles them even though it is basic courtesy.
But it also baffles my colleagues/friends/family.
— Rosa (@Rosalinedreams) March 9, 2023
all the house help we have hired over the years has sung praises of us for allowing them to use the same cutlery as us and it breaks my heart too
— zainab (Taylor’s version) (@zaibannn) March 9, 2023
It’s a bitter truth. I offer water to every courier person who comes home and they are so touched. I keep empty clean cold drink bottles filled with drinking water and give them for the entire day. I feel nice. I learned it from my family. My grandparents and parents.
— Nandita (@teenanz) March 9, 2023
That is why I never keep separate utensils. Everyone present in the house, be it a guest or a handyman, use the ones family does.
— (dr) shehr/bano (@shehrbanozahra) March 9, 2023
I will also never understand why service helps have a different lift in so many societies??? I’ve seen them not come into the the same lift that residents are in, when they’re literally there to help the residents?
How are people uncomfortable with sharing the same lifts w/ them— zeyn shaw worshipper🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️ (@okbutdidiasku) March 9, 2023
My God. This is heartbreaking!! Shameful!Bless you for your kindness and for raising this very important point. Takes me back to several years ago when our Christian helpers said they’d eat and drink from their own crockery. I was flabbergasted- didn’t even know that was a thing!
— M (@M76945129) March 9, 2023
There were also others who pointed out that drinking water by not sipping the glass is a common practice in many households.
With due respect, saliva minimisation is not a caste issue but a sharing culture phenomenon. Many modern unoppressed Indians, in the absence of disposable cups or bottles, will avoid sipping.
My family never sips water, but have compromised on tea and juice cups.— Kasturi Shankar (@KasthuriShankar) March 9, 2023
What’s horrible about it?
Everyone in my family drinks water from above without lips touching the vessel (Usually lota or Steel glass).
Even steel glass in my house has a layer to it that makes it easy to drink from above.
Place where Matki kept is not even having any glass.
— Alive | ध्रियमाण (@Dhriyamana) March 9, 2023
When corona virus came , people from the same family couldn’t eat from the same plate or drink from the same glass .
Reason – Infection .
And we are a cruel horrible society ?
Following hygiene is Need of an hour .— Himanshu Srivastava (@Himansh70462258) March 9, 2023
A common practice in India, irrespective of caste, region, or religion ….and even that is being unnecessarily sensationalized in social media.
It is just a way of maintaining hygiene, taught to all of us from childhood.— Masuthivan™ (@masuthivan) March 9, 2023
Give a glass of water to anybody in Tamil Nadu and they won’t sip it. They will drink as is. It’s part of culture not to sip another persons / house glass. Even when I go somewhere to somebody’s house and drink water from a steel glass I shall never sip it, only pour it in.
— Nambo (@nitin_nam) March 9, 2023
I guess it is a hygiene factor, stop exaggerating everything
— Ram (@prkprasad123) March 9, 2023
IMO, it’s not about how people are comfortable using the glass. But the fact that we look down upon people who don’t belong to the same economic and social background as ours makes me think of the world we’re living in.
Well, summers are here and there are many who will be in the streets all day long, delivering parcels, bringing in food, and coming in for our help. The least you can do is provide them with some water. The weather is going to be harsh on them, you can be a little sensitive.