[Satire] “We’ll Return ‘The Diamond’ To India, If They Win The World Cup”, Promises The Queen

The entire country is coloured blue as the cricket World Cup season finally arrives! Team India had a fantastic run up until they lost to Australia in the Semi-Finals of the 2015 WC. But they are back again, better and stronger, all set to bring home the gorgeous trophy as the nation cheers for them. However, this time the stakes are much higher.

This year, our beloved cricketers won’t be playing just for the winning title. They will be playing for the Queen’s crown jewel!

Our unreliable source at the PR team of the Buckingham Palace has revealed that the Queen has expressed her desire to return the world-famous crown jewel to India, after a gap of 170 years. But they have a condition – Team India will have to win the World Cup!

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“We understand and respect India’s sentiments with regards to the diamond. The country has been fighting for its claim for several years now. Hence, we have decided to return it. However, since all good things must be earned, India has to prove its credibility. Therefore, we have chosen a field in which India and England both have an honourable reputation and must have a fair combat”, read the leaked statement.

While this sounds like great motivation for team India to bag the trophy this year, there are others who have stepped up to face the challenge as well. A professor from a reputed WhatsApp University narrates how the diamond had been in the possession of rulers from other countries as well including Pakistan, Bangladesh, and even Afghanistan. Its previous owners have been several, some of them being The Raja of Malwa, Alauddin Khalji, Babur, Nadir Shah, and Maharaja Ranjit Singh.

“The diamond belonged to the land of the Sikhs – a majority of which now belongs to Pakistan after partition. It’s only fair that the challenge is extended to us as well by Her Royal Highness”, the Information Minister told The Queen’s Express.

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Two non-vegetarian ministers from the Indian Parliament has intervened into the matter and demanded that if England lost the WC, along with the diamond, the English should transfer intellectual property rights ownership for the words – kabab and curry.

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“For the last 4 years, we have dedicated our blood, sweat, and tears preparing for the World Cup. We couldn’t have worked harder, but we are ready to play twice as hard to make our country proud”, Team India told KhelPeCharcha.com.

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Get ready to cheer for India louder because Team India is under a lot of pressure. And guess what…a diamond is nothing but a chunk of coal that did well under pressure! 😉

Representative cover image source left, right