There are some things that your parents should never find in your possession – porn, weed, your boyfriend’s love letter (sorry mom), and condoms. Because if they do, be prepared to hear taanes every day for the rest of your life.
Are you not taking me seriously? Let me tell you a story.
One guy took to Twitter to post a series of tweets narrating what happened after his desi parents found not 1, not 2, but 5 condoms in his wallet. It started when his wallet got mixed with the rest of the clothes inside the washing machine. His dad went on to take out everything that was inside the wallet and put them under the sun to dry. Among those things were 5 condoms from 3 different brands. DEAR LORD.
Woke up to my mom telling me that mera wallet galti se washing machine mein chal gaya but not to worry papa took out all the stuff and placed it in the sun to dry.
Mere balcony mein 3 alag brand ke 5 condom dhoop mein sookh rahe hai. My life's a movie and a very tragic one.
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
Thus began a series of hilarious taanes delivered by the parents which would make anyone want to screen into a pillow! Have a look:
Papa just said “Ab samajh aaya shaadi kyun nahi kar raha” 😭😭😭😭😭
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
And of course, when he asked his friends for advice, they came up with the most stupid explanations ever.
I’ve the dumbest friends. I asked them what to say and one of them said “Bol de ki papa mere dost ke condoms hai usne mere wallet mein rakh diye the”.
Other said “Papa truth and dare mein dare mila tha”.
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
To be honest, mothers need not say ANYTHING when such embarrassing things go down. Because, their eyes do all the talking (read: screaming).
Asked mummy for breakfast and she looked at me angrily from the corner of her eye. Bhenchod itni jaldi meri zindagi mein kabhi bhook nahi bhaagi.
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
And then bombs began to drop!
Mom just asked “Kaun hai?”
Dad said “Arrey nahi isse pucho kaun kaun hai? Preferences ke hisaab se jana karke rakhe hai na isne”
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
I was drinking water out of nervousness and finished a complete bottle. Bhai asked “Kitna paani piyega?” Dad replied “Arrey bohot pyaas hai isme toh”
I FUCKING CANT 😭😭😂😂
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
Note: Never call your hickey a mosquito bite, especially when you have Odomos in your room.
Dad saw the tube of Odomos in my room and said “Teri gardan pe jo machhar kaant ke daag chhod jaate hai unse nahi bacha sakti yeh dawai”
Kab tak chalega yeh yaar 😭😭😭
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
Siblings are just the worst!
Bhai said “Papa ghar mein rakhi hui strawberries khaane mein toh itne drame karta hai aur yahan dekho”
NAHI YAAR 😭😂
— Harsh Mittal (@Bhand_Engineer) February 22, 2021
While people online found this thread hilarious, some said that it was their worst nightmare come true!
This thread is half of my nightmares coming true. 😀 https://t.co/jHWPR4SPdr
— Siddharth Agarwal (@WhyEnggWhy) February 22, 2021
This took a fantastically dramatic twist https://t.co/V6MchcmuuC
— 🗣 (@sib_sibby) February 22, 2021
This entire thread has me wheezing. 😂😭🤣 https://t.co/lTCApHcLxI
— 💖💛💙🌹☭dore ⚧ genderfuck sadboi w/ ADHD (xe/she) (@lavisaconstruct) February 22, 2021
Fucking hilarious to read🤣🤣 but bad situation to be in lol🙈 https://t.co/L5O2ALOTr4
— Sowji⁷🖤 (@Gashinahere) February 22, 2021
Let this brighten up your Monday afternoon! 🙂
I laughed so hard, and am still laughing! 🙂 https://t.co/OdROeDISwR— Rohitesh Dutta (@rohiteshd) February 22, 2021
A word of advice – if your parents ever find condoms in your possession, run for your life and never look back!