Are you one of those people who have jokes whirling in their head all the time? Do people give you strange looks when you share your jokes with them? Chances are you are suffering from a (not so) common disease called youarenotfunny, a disease I suffer from too.
1. You think you’re funny
Most of the people think they are handsome, does that mean others think they are handsome too?
No. People who are not handsome buy Fair and Lovely to become handsome.
You wish there was a cream to improve your sense of humor too. But there isn’t.
2. Jokes sound funny in your head
You get a joke in your head, and it sounds funny.
Everyone laughs at their own jokes.
It’s the same thing like, you are never disgusted by your own farts, are you? But others are. The trick is to make farts other people like.
No, that came out wrong.
3. You forget the joke and freak out
You were walking to the grocery to get some food, smiling at your joke, what a genius of a comedian you are,
thinking you are the goddamn Jerry Seinfeld of this era and you see dogs humping each other and you laugh out loud.
But now you have forgotten the joke and now you start freaking out.
If you were really funny, you could have made another one right there. Right?
4. You always wait for an opening
You are standing in a party and a cool group actually lets you stand with them.
You wait for an opening to crack the joke you thought about, like a yesteryear shikari waiting for his prey, sitting on the machan high up the tree.
If you were really funny, you would have cracked a punchline at every line they said.
5. You actually get the opening
You start to sweat, ready to pounce on the prey. This is it!
And you crack it! Bravo!
6. You crack up
Yeah, yeah, the joke was funny and you start laughing really loud, tears streaming down your face, your body in a fit of sorts.
7. You realize no one else is laughing
No one is laughing. You cannot comprehend why no other human would laugh at your joke. WTF.
8. You laugh once more and then ask them if they got it
They got it alright. Instead of panties dropping with admiration for your sense of humor, and guys howling with laughter, all female orifices are shut tight for the night and guys get homophobia.
9. You try to save the day with another joke
As a desperate attempt, you crack another joke. But that’s even worse than the last.
No one laughs.
It’s like all of them received calls from the hospital saying their parents just died. Both of their parents.
10. People are embarrassed now
There is an awkward silence hanging in a room like humidity in Mumbai.
They are all staring at their empty beer glasses, not knowing what to do.
11. You crack the oldest joke in the book
That’s the last resort and also the last nail in the coffin. Of your comic career.
In case you didn’t get it, no one laughs again.
12. You go home determined
Determined to write something really funny not knowing that humor is weak in you.
You are not gonna let this go.
13. You repeat the same incident
Another joke sounded funny in your head. Again.
You went to another party. Again. It bombed. again.
14. They stop inviting you to social dos
You wonder why you don’t get invited to parties anymore. It must be because you have been so busy these days.
Obviously.
15. It hits you
Yeah, you are actually not funny at all. You cry and wallow in self-pity. Any idea of self-worth has evaporated.
16. You start working as a clown. Part time.
Maybe that will crack up the people. Clowns are funny! Right?!
17. You realize clowns are actually creepy
So you see your own pictures as a clown, and it freaks you out.
No wonder they stopped inviting you to birthday parties.
18. You get a menial job because you are now defeated in life
All hope has evaporated.
19. One day you go home and think about your life
You think about how it turned out to be and laugh. Laugh hard. The kind of laughter that comes out freely, without any effort.
You take a good around your apartment, the shambles of your life, tattered and in ruins, and you laugh again. That wholesome laughter, the laughter you have missed all your life.
That’s when you get a real sense of humor.
