As adults, we like to pose as some of the smartest beings on the planet. But deep down, we know that we’ve done some dumb stuff back in the day. Like believing that Santa Claus is real. Or twirling a piece of stick to cast magic spells (some of us still do that, please don’t judge).
However, it turns out that all that was pretty UA-rated in comparison to what others around the world have done during their childhood.
Twitter user @MotherOfDoggons asked the internet that what are some of the stupidest things they’ve done as a kid, whilst sharing her own antics.
What’s the dumbest shit you ever did as a kid?
My shining moment was when I was like 4? I put floaties on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking I’d walk on water. I almost drowned.
— MOTHER DOOM (@MotherOfDoggons) December 9, 2018
There were hundreds of responses to this tweet. But since most of the entries are morbid as hell (while being amusing as well), I’d honestly advise you to…
Here are the best responses:
1. Is this the sequel to ‘Hereditary’?
I found a dead bird during recess and kept it in my pocket for the entire day of school thinking I could take it home, and have a new pet. My mom was doing my laundry that day and emptied out my pockets and screamed when she felt a minature beak
— The King in the North (@JaimeYWash) December 11, 2018
2. Science!
https://twitter.com/KendaallCook/status/1072548652550381568
3. “Chew up bread”?! Wow.
I wasn’t old enough to bake cookies so I’d chew up bread, form it into a cookie, put PB and sprinkles on top and sell them to my friends for a quarter. I finally told one of them the recipe and felt so bad I gave her a plate full for free. She ate them anyway.
— Maddie (@madisontewers) December 11, 2018
4. Makes sense.
Someone made fun of me crying so I went home and put L’Oreal no tears shampoo in my eyes
— You (@sarmrr) December 11, 2018
5. Disco dancer anyone?
I once tried to turn an acoustic guitar into an electric guitar by splicing an extension cord and connecting it to the steel guitar strings.
And I used a metal pick.
— puppits™ (@BunchOfPuppits) December 11, 2018
6. “I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.”
My brother was 4 and I was babysitting him, all of a sudden I hear a huge crash, screaming, and crying. I rush down the stairs and ask “what happened!?” He told me, “I tried to fly…” saddest moment in his life.
— zeni (@zeniirion) December 11, 2018
7. Better than Dumbledore’s Deluminator.
Crowning achievement was when I was 7, I stuck a pair of scissor blades into a socket in my classroom.
It sent the entire street into blackout.
— The Block Panther (@DeleMage) December 11, 2018
8. That’s one way of travelling.
Went skiing in Colorado w my family when I was like 11. My brother kept falling and taking forever so I decided to go ahead w/o waiting on them. Took a wrong turn, went down a diamond slope, and ended up in a different town on another side of the mountain. Best vacay ever
— carleigh🦋 (@gnarlyycarleigh) December 11, 2018
9. Burnt sheets are temporary. Life is forever.
It was cold in our house so I took a smouldering log out of the nearly dead fire in the wood burning stove and put it in my sheets. Woke up because of smoke and promptly put it back. Threw away the half burned sheets and never told my parents. I was 16 and really, REALLY stupid
— Kristin Briggs (@KrissyBriggzler) December 11, 2018
10. The Punisher has nothing on this epitome of badassery.
when I was four I fractured my elbow by jumping off of a chair and trying to land in a pile of stuffed animals. I was so embarrassed that I walked around with a broken elbow for a week before my mom found out
— NO JUSTICE | NO PEACE (@underscoremags) December 11, 2018
11. Some horror director is already making a movie on this.
My parents were testing Christmas lights in the living room one year. I liked to pretend I was an animal so my 7 year old ass comes belly crawling in. Glass in my mouth from biting the bulbs because I was being an alligator. 🐊 Good thing the lights weren’t on. 🙃
— Alison (Ali) B. (@Alisaurer) December 11, 2018
12. What an obedient little child.
When I was like 6, my mum was giving me a bath, and she had to leave the room for a second so she told me not to leave the bath under any circumstances. So I didn’t. Not even when I farted and a turd came out and floated around with me in the tub
— Gorilla Grip Coochie (@hotlinehomo) December 11, 2018
13. A good way to show the example of Schrodinger’s cat.
Put my cat in a suitcase when I was 5 and couldn’t figure out how to unlock it for 10 minutes
— Ryan (@ryanmatthewfs) December 11, 2018
14. Calmness is the key.
When I was 8 I tried to reheat a sonic grilled cheese deluxe in the microwave. For those of you who don’t know, sonic wraps their food in thin wax lined foil paper. I watched my grilled cheese combust for about 8 second before I calmly told an adult “hey the microwave blew up”
— actual cowboy shia Lebop (@ashiknees4) December 11, 2018
15. No witness = no crime.
To reach the candy cupboard I started a fire by climbing up onto a counter/stove top that had a cook book on it. Knocked a switch without realising. Walked off with candy. Smelt smoke. Returned. Flames almost touching the ceiling. Notified parents. Denied starting fire.
— .H. (@hannahlilix) December 11, 2018
16. That’s some serial-killer stuff right there.
when I was three I mashed an entire stick of butter on the dining room table in the middle of the night and woke my parents up by whispering "the butter is mashed" in their ear
— muffin’s mom (@kassiannee_) December 11, 2018
17. We’ve a time-traveler over here.
https://twitter.com/DrunkestLibrary/status/1072487390072225792
18. Merlin’s beard!
I was playing with my hamster tossing him in the air and catching him. Tossed up too hard once and he hit the ceiling, when I caught him he was dead 💔
— christian veve (@lil_veve24) December 11, 2018
It’s surprising that all these people have survived childhood. That said, what are some of the craziest things you’ve done as a kid? Please let us know. We’re not going to silently judge you, mother promise!