We’ve all had our fair share of fights with our parents, haven’t we? As much as we’d like to blame it on the raging hormones we were treated to on our way to puberty, the fact that it must’ve been one hell of a ride for them doesn’t change. And truth be told, for many of us, the fights didn’t end with puberty, did they?
The drastic differences in the way they grew up vs the fairly modern and tech-enabled times we grew up in, makes living with the folks a stressful experience even today.
And sometimes this prompts us to move out. Away from the “overbearing” parents who “just don’t get it”. Or for better educational and professional prospects.
Whichever it is, once you move out it just isn’t like you imagined it would be. You dreamt of total freedom and independence to do whatever you want. And sure, you do get all that. All the house parties, bringing friends and lovers home, late night impromptu drives, doing whatever the fuck you want, all of it. Yet, there’s something that’s always missing once the noise dies down.
You miss home. You miss your mom. The annoying dad jokes. Even the plastic cover on the remotes that your parents would never remove in a million years.
— Usama Qureshi (@usama_x9) November 17, 2014
The distance and the obvious lack of maa ke haath ka khana gets you to look at your relationship from a different perspective. One other than the “misunderstood youngster” perspective.
You begin to finally see the love and concern hidden behind all the times you got an earful for coming home late. All the times Mom gave you the glare that could melt your flesh off your bones when she caught you meandering about in the neighbourhood with your gang instead of studying. All the times Dad said no to you going out for movies with friends. Everything that made their “tyrannic rule” unfair, actually starts to kind of make sense to you when you look at it from their perspective.
That’s not to say they have always been perfect. Of course, they’ve made mistakes along the way. But then so have you.
And so you start to make more of an effort to improve your relationship with them.
You call them more often and remind yourself to ask them about their day. You keep a better handle on your temper rather than losing it every time they say something you don’t agree with. And when you finally go home for a visit, you revert back to being the adorable kid who was stuck to mom’s side all day. Even your arch-enemy of many years, the dreaded baingan bharta, starts to taste heavenly (But, we’re not telling mom that. Shhh…)
Ironic how we always appreciate everything more when it isn’t as easily accessible as before, isn’t it?
And every time you go away again, you feel that tiny pang of homesickness.
All the time we wasted fighting with them over petty issues seems so stupid now, doesn’t it? After all, we only get one set of parents and for better or for worse, they do love us. Maybe more than we ever have or ever could.