I’ve often been mockingly called Cinderella by my friends. Why? Because I’ve almost always had a deadline imposed on me by my parents to return home before the clock strikes midnight. I’d crib and complain about it incessantly, even though I’m aware that many other women have it much worse. Their curfew is not as liberal as midnight, but pretty much ‘before dark’. This is gender privilege at its finest.
Things aren’t much better in the West, if that’s what you’re thinking. Sure, the women there might not have anyone to stop them from doing what they want. But the fear that has prompted such restrictions on women is still there. Even they are afraid of being assaulted, molested, raped, or kidnapped. Their freedom is laced heavily with paranoia.
And so when Twitter user @DanielleMuscato posed a hypothetical scenario to women about a curfew on men, it opened an endless stream of possiblites for women.
Ladies, a question for you:
"What would you do if all men had a 9pm curfew?"
Dudes: Read the replies and pay attention.#metoo #Kavanaugh #Cosby #feminism #maleprivilege #privilege
— Danielle Muscato (@DanielleMuscato) September 25, 2018
Imagine a world where men had to stay indoors after 9 pm. What would you, a woman, do with this new found freedom to be unafraid of every stranger, every lurking shadow, every footstep that is not yours?
The wishful thinking was like a wave that just wouldn’t subside! Women gushed in with their answers, which included several night-time activities that they either could never do, or they did but were always wary.
https://twitter.com/elliebegood/status/1046510899681480705
“Take a walk under the night sky” was one of the most common answers. Think of it… no eve teasing, no men leching at you, following you….
Oh my god. The mind reels. Go dancing? Take a walk? Open the front door without fear? https://t.co/v66MM38Btf
— Emily L. Hauser אלה אסתר (@emilylhauser) September 30, 2018
Sit on the beach at night. https://t.co/MEAMr4R91I
— chemiKAYLI (@KayliVee) October 1, 2018
I'd walk a city in peace. https://t.co/EhnQY2JI2T
— Sonja Yoerg (@SonjaYoerg) September 27, 2018
I'd run at night.
I 👏 would 👏 run 👏 so 👏 much 👏 at 👏 night 👏 https://t.co/ToE2odrFAq
— Kat(her)i(n)e Riley (@KatherineERiley) October 1, 2018
Now that’s a past, present and future you’d dream for yourself and the other women.
My whole life would have been different, and now my daughter's life would be different. https://t.co/52YCx1K4AN
— Melissa Hillman (@bittergertrude) September 26, 2018
A lot of the women wondered if men were aware of this gender privilege that they so recklessly abused.
Do men even know just how afraid women are of them? I think MOST men have no clue as to how limited and cautious women live their lives for fear of men. #MeToo https://t.co/TX0XdkYGJ2
— SARENA (@SARENA220) October 1, 2018
Leaving your drink unattended at the bar, everything a woman is not supposed to do out of concern for her safety would be possible!
can you imagine getting up to go to the bathroom and leaving your drink sitting there, knowing when you get back that you're not going to fall unconscious. Or getting as drunk as you want and stumbling home, no fear of being followed. that's twilight zone shit.
— the lizard king (@lizardwedding) September 29, 2018
No fear of being alone at night in public transport!
This is an essential thread. Read these replies.
Me, I'd walk everywhere. I'd grocery shop late at night when it's quiet. I'd take public transit all the time and could sell my car. I wouldn't worry about my girlfriends when we were out listening to music, etc. Beach at night. https://t.co/LlOVPk7DxW
— Leslie Poston 🏳️🌈 (@leslie) September 30, 2018
Wow. Is this how guys feel all the time?
I’d go for a walk in the dark without leaping out of my skin at little noises. Just thinking about going somewhere alone without anxiety seems like a dream. Is this how guys feel all the time?
— Emma Smart (@IMEmmaSmart) September 25, 2018
Read books at bars and restaurants alone. Throw block parties. Do more street art. Start taking pictures of the city at night. Not worry about making sure I have my knife on me when I go out. https://t.co/tFyk0K4L5U
— 𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘶𝘴 🦠 (@Freehand_City) October 3, 2018
A trans-woman weighed in on how it would be like to not have to fear for their life every time they stepped out.
https://twitter.com/FalconBubba/status/1047317452093370368
A life of fear that women got used to….
This thread really resonates with me, and I expect with most women. You get used to a life where people have to offer to walk you home after dark, and that's really sad. https://t.co/L6AMpSHmTj
— Laura Christy (@Laura_Christy_) September 30, 2018
Can you imagine this situation in India?
https://twitter.com/j100mya/status/1047061858950242304
However, it wasn’t all wishful thinking. Some women decided to get a little real about what this curfew would actually mean.
If the men are okay breaking the law to assault and rape, what makes you think they won’t break the curfew to do the same?
https://twitter.com/dwancherry/status/1047254765237936129
Equality, because that’s what feminim actually is.
I'd campaign to get the 9pm curfew lifted so we had equality. 😂 https://t.co/QKOil3NDqP
— Christine Sadler (@JewelleryTales) October 2, 2018
The other side of the debate that people often neglect.
Wonder why the fuck they have a 9pm curfew and women don't. Women can be sexual predators too, ya know https://t.co/MrQDa5fICL
— B (@shortbumble22) October 2, 2018
The men on this thread had a total eye-opener of a moment as they realised the advantages that their gender affords them.
Gender privilege at its finest, folks.
https://twitter.com/DrBeagleman1/status/1044770605294395398
Heartbreaking and infuriating…. and that’s what the men are feeling!
As a fellow runner and male, is there any way to show I’m not a threat? Or just keep my distance? Sometimes I do the polite “fellow runner nod” but now I worry that could be misinterpreted. These replies are heartbreaking and infuriating.
— Kris White (@krisryanwhite) September 26, 2018
We’ve got a lot of work to do to rectify this situation.
Oh my god this thread. Almost every woman says they walk with their keys between their fingers. 🙁 Society, we have a lot of work to do https://t.co/MEKKIhq61D
— Andrew Trotman (@TechieTrotman) September 27, 2018
This question asked by a man:
“Why aren’t women filled with uncontrollable rage all the time?”
Wow, I feel horrible right now. None of this has ever occurred to me as an issue. I run, I go do whatever I want whenever I want.
Why aren't women filled with uncontrollable rage all the time?
— Houston Wolf (@houstonwolf) September 26, 2018
We are, dear men. We so are.
We are.
To paraphrase @IjeomaOluo:
"It is very hard to survive as a woman in this world, and I remember saying once that if I stopped to feel, really feel, the pain of the oppression I encountered, I would start screaming and I would never, ever stop."https://t.co/0vA3F2r3mL
— Danielle Muscato (@DanielleMuscato) September 26, 2018
And all that’s left for the men to say is…
Dear Women, I am so sorry.
— OG Nasty Boy 🏳️🌈 (@WorldOfDex) October 3, 2018
Well, not really. A hypothetical situation is okay to ponder over. But the reality is, it doesn’t work like that. We don’t want a gender curfew. We want respect and equality. And that’s exactly what feminism in its purest essence is.
So, yes, there’s indeed a lot of work to do.