Approaching women is scary. I know this because I know how brutal we can be to guys. But there are some triggers that make us that brutal. Now some of those triggers are what you’ve learned from popular culture but it’s creepy AF. So even if you had a chance, you’ve lost it because of something you said or did.
So if you’re shy or you want to avoid being slapped or insulted and save some grace, here’s what you can do!
1. Ask a female friend to do your ground-work, trade your wingman for a wing woman
Women feel safer with women, so the concept of wingman doesn’t work as well as wing women in India. If a girl approaches us, we know the level of bullshit immediately comes down from 60% to 30%. Which means you have a 30% better chance!
2. Talk to her about about really random stuff, crack a few jokes but avoid asking or giving personal information
When you ask us which college, company or where we live, we feel like you might stalk us or might turn out to be an axe murderer. So you might find the girl walking away or getting really awkward. So instead, talk to her about current events, make her laugh, compliment her, but not too much and not the sleezy ones. Stick to beautiful or pretty, because if you say hot, that might be the last thing you say to her.
3. Offer her a drink only after you’ve spoken to her for a minimum of 10 minutes
The whole notion of sending drinks over to a girl you like, doesn’t work. We’d just turn it back. Why? 1) We feel like we owe you something if we accept a free drink and 2) We will never drink it because it might be spiked. So it’s better if you offer a drink after establishing some sort of connection and clarifying that you aren’t infact a misogynist or a predator.
4. Don’t ask her for her number, either ask her for an email id or just look her up on Facebook and send her a request
Never ask her number. That’s the rule. Because remember she isn’t that easy that she’ll give it to you. Leave a few things to chance. Tell her you’ll look her up on Facebook and if she liked talking to you, only then she should accept the request. Atleast this way, you’re being a gentleman and leaving the ball in her court to decide.
5. If she’s someone you see everyday, maybe start smiling in her direction every day and eventually go and ask her for a very generic question
With someone you meet everyday, maybe on your way to work, you need to do this gradually. Build a connection over a couple of days, smile in her direction but don’t stare like a creep. The day she smiles back, you can go over to her and introduce yourself. Ask her some really generic questions, like train timings or something and hit the ground running.
6. Don’t ever go with your friends, always go alone!
When you go over with a bunch of guys or even one, we get really uncomfortable. Because then not only your behaviour but also your friend’s behaviour is taken into consideration. And it’s better when you’re vulnerable, she’s more likely to talk to you.
7. Don’t use pick up lines, be yourself!
No shady shit like using crappy pick-up lines, it doesn’t work. So be spontaneous!
8. Find a balance between shy and cocky
Don’t be the guy staring at his shoes instead of her face and don’t be the guy who doesn’t stop talking about himself and stares south from her face. Be confident, but not overconfident. It’s nice to see a guy blushing, it lets us know that we unnerve you just a little bit.
9. Download Tinder and see if they are on it!
If you’re too shy to approach someone because you think she might be committed, simply log onto the dating apps that map location. Almost everyone’s on it, so do a quick check before you introduce yourself.
10. Always be humble and honest
That’s the only way. So put it out there, the universe will be kind in return!
Now get off your ass and go talk to her!