8 Possible Reasons Why Our Generation Is Phobic Towards The Idea Of Marriage

Due to the vastly different belief system of our current generation from our previous generations, the idea of marriage has become controversial. The pro-marriage people are tagged as typical by the non-believers, and the anti-marriage ones are called directionless and show offs.

However, amidst all these clashing opinions, it can’t be denied that most of us are increasingly becoming phobic towards the idea of marriage.

Following are some of the possible reasons that I think might be the triggering factors of the marriage phobia.

1. Marriage is far more than just a union of two individuals for life, and that scares us

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It also brings together families, comprising of various personalities. What if there arise troubles that we won’t be able to withstand?

 

2. Because we are all about ‘living in the moment’

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Marriages require a lifetime commitment and therefore, questions like “What if we don’t make it till the end?” make us anxious and fearful. And we don’t want to worry about something that we don’t have control over, right? Future is one thing that no one has control over.

The ‘today’ of togetherness seems more promising and fun to us. What lies in the future is as uncertain as the future itself and we don’t like to plan about what might or might not work out.

 

3. We fear losing out on love and entering a bondage for life

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We all need love. But today, most of us have our own customized versions of love. Our love tree stands on the roots of fears and comforts.

In case of marriages, some of us feel that love blossoms for as long as it is not tied by a sacred thread. We fear that marriage will take away the charm of love and replace it with a plenitude of responsibilities that will leave us zapped.

True love, however, gives strength to swim through the tides of burdens, no matter how high or low they may be. But the thought of “What if the unthinkable happens?” still keep us fearful.

 

4. For some of us, it is about either ‘everything’ or ‘nothing at all’ and marriages don’t work that way

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If you don’t adjust a little, share a little, and lose your sleep a little, while of course, maintaining a lot of love on the side, then I don’t think you are married, even though you have probably done the formality of buying dinner for over a 100 people.

But… some of us want a lot, some of us want it all. And forget about marriage, it is not very easy to tick off everything on our goal list while being single as well.

 

5. We have goals we consider far more important than settling down

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I have heard someone saying that, with tiny tots on your lap, you lose your significance. It left me perplexed because I believe that no amount of external force can take away your true self, your passion, unless of course you allow it to.

So yes, for some us, our ambition is the absinthe we drink daily. It keeps us intoxicated and we desire to build our own life on it. Which is why, we fear that our passion will die early if we step into a life-term bond.

 

6. We feel marriage will take us away from the things that are most dear to us

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There can be an ailing sibling who has no one but you to rely their life on, or a small but silly custom of changing names/surnames post marriage; we have things that we feel will always be more important to us than the opportunity of getting tied for life.

 

7. The mere idea of marriage makes us fear for our freedom

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Yes, marriage strictly means being together for life. That’s the whole point of marriage, isn’t it? Marriage comes with rules and the free-at-hearts who never play by any given rules, start to feel bound when the talks of their marriage are merely discussed around them.

 

8. Because marriage is one thing our generation sees as a risk they don’t want to take

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No one is born an experienced wife/husband. Also, no one knows how good a driver they are until they grip on the steering wheel. And marriage, is definitely not a car that will start rough and then go smooth. It is an important part of life that will throw at you the challenges you probably wouldn’t have handled in the wildest of your dreams. It can make your life full of surprises or shocks or be a perfect blend of both. And most of us don’t want to take that life-changing risk, because of course…what if.

The idea is not to tag marriage as an unnecessary part of life, but to understand why members of our generation are increasingly becoming phobic towards marriage than dreaming about a perfect wedding like we did in our teenage times.

If this is our state today, in my understanding, the changing times and situations will probably make marriages a rarely kept tradition for the generations to follow.

Quick fact: All the possible reasons why we fear marriage aside, there is actually a medical term describing the fear of marriage, called Gametophobia. MedicineNet.com describes Gametophobia as “An abnormal and persistent fear of being married.” There’s also Gamophobia, which is defined as “The fear of getting married, being in a relationship, or commitment.”

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