13 Things That Happen When You Get Married Just For The Sake Of Marriage

Marriage.

The union of two souls and in India, the union of two families as well. That sometimes puts too much pressure on the parents and ergo, put double pressure on the kids to do something about it or else their age will start becoming an issue.

Some succumb to this pressure and decide to get married just for the sake of their parents. Some find happiness after, but most people fall down a super spiral.

Here are a few things that happen when you decide to settle down against your wishes and those people who are going through a situation like this, might relate to.

1. Your own happiness goes way down on your priority list.

Your family’s, relatives’, and everybody else’s but your happiness becomes the priority and your joy takes a backseat because you love and respect your parents too much to tell them that this is not what you want. You assume that they won’t understand or just decide on your own that instead of seeing a frown on their face you’d rather take up the risk of crying all your life. Do you think they don’t love you enough that your tears won’t matter to them?

 

2. You feel like a heavy commodity first paraded in front of the best buyers and now parceled out of your house.

You are shown a thousand photos and your photos travel through a thousand hands and a thousand eyes looking at you like one looks at a product before buying. It’s a complete marriage market and someone chooses you and your parents chose them because they fulfill your parents criteria and vice versa.

 

3. You know nothing about your to be spouse and neither does he/she.

How many times have you met? Have many times have you spoke to each other? You know you’re going to get married to each other and both of you try to be as sweet as you can. Does that really help you convey yourself or know him/her better?

 

4. You wonder when you do get to know each other, would you find something that’ll destroy you.

Since you’ve never really met each other before and know very little besides your fiance’s family history, surname, and their parents name, what if you find after a while, into your happily(?) married life, you find something that lurks beneath their sweet exterior that you may not like?

 

5. You wonder if freedom would exist in your life anymore?

Would you be able to wear what you wear now? Would you be able to eat the same things as now? Would you be able to exercise your right to bodily comfort after marriage? Why does it mean so much to the society for a woman to constantly be in discomfort?

Will you have to leave your job? Would you be able to keep your friends? Would you have to talk to your parents in a formal tone?

 

6. Everything and everybody seems too sweet to you to the point that it all looks fake to you.

Everything, the jewellery, the decorations, the sweets, everything becomes a burden on your head. Everyone who comes to you and smiles, everyone who blesses you, who teases you, you wonder what are they all doing this for?

 

7. You go through the ceremonies mechanically with a smile plastered on your face.

You do not know what they mean, you do not understand why should you be happy about them or what makes them a happy occasion but you have to put up a smile for everyone to see only that. Not the storm gushing in your mind.

 

8. You wonder if something goes wrong with you, would your parents still be happy?

You wonder about this too late in the process of the transaction of your being. Maybe parents should wonder about this too, what matters more, their own satisfaction or their daughter/son’s life? The kids make mistakes, but then it’s on the kid’s head and they learn how to take responsibility for their actions at least. How would they learn how to rise if they never fall? And why would they fall if they’re happy?

You wonder why your life has always been a series of spoonfeeding ideals and dictates for how to lead your life without entertaining any questions from you.

 

9. You wonder if marriage will really fix everything in your life.

You wonder if things will change for the better in your life as every other girl likes to think when she thinks about marriage.

If you’re a man, life does get better for you with fairly minor adjustments.

 

10. You wonder would you still be alone while being in this relationship.

You wonder if your partner will be as existent as a partner should be when you get married. Would you have him/her for the kind of support you’d need from a partner?

 

11. You wonder why your spouse to be, has agreed to this union.

You wonder if your betrothed is thinking about the same things as you are. Do your thoughts match? Why is he/she okay with this? What could be the reason?

 

12. You wonder what’ll happen when your children are born or what if either of you doesn’t want children.

The arrival of children changes everything. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. You wonder what’d happen if your spouse and his family prefer a gender better than the other? Would they hate the kid? Would they let it come to life?

Or worse. What if your views don’t match, about the idea of having kids?

 

13. You wonder if all this was of your own choice, would it still feel like this?

Do you think all this wonderment and fears would be or could be nullified if all this was happening on your own terms, at least, controlled to an extent?

What if this wasn’t happening at all?

Marriage is a responsibility that shouldn’t put on tender shoulders and soft hearts without their consent and will.
You may find happiness someday, but what is wrong with choosing it?

The quicker the world understands this, the better.
Including you. 🙂

Cover Image Source