Compliments.
To some, it comes naturally. They are absolute pros at complimenting someone and their art puts you into a blushing state and in complete awe of their talent. It also makes you think can you be as good and as charming as them.
Well, you can. It’s something that you aren’t born with but acquire. Humans are social animals and complimenting someone about something is the basis of the relationships you form with them.
Here is how you can ace the complimenting game.
1. Don’t compliment if it is not going to be genuine
It’s better not to compliment anyone if it’s not going to be genuine admiration you have for them because the fakeness is visible however well it’s disguised. People aren’t pleased with fakeness but with honesty and authenticity.
2. Look them in the eye while saying it
They say eyes speak a thousand words, and it’s somewhat true. Making eye contact is important in any form of social contact and all the more important when it comes to showing your admiration for someone as your eyes basically guarantee your authenticity.
3. Don’t use a backhanded jibe while complimenting someone
Eg. “You look beautiful for such a fat person!”
It’s not appreciating them but basically insulting them for their apparent insecurities. This is best avoidable.
4. Be sure the timing is right
Timing matters. An ill-timed compliment goes the wrong way and isn’t going to help you making any start with that person for almost eternity.
5. Don’t make the whole charade about yourself
Eg. “Nice car bro! You should see my collection, though.”
We sometimes develop the tendency of making everything about ourselves. It’s better we don’t put ourselves in the picture while complimenting others.
6. Compliment personality characteristics more than their looks
We love generic compliments like “You look so beautiful!” But understanding deeper about them is better than concentrating on their physical appearances.
7. Say what you’d want someone to say to you
Introspect and think what you’d want to hear about yourself. Then say those exact things to others and watch the world become just a little bit sunnier. 🙂
8. Put some thought into it instead of being instantaneous
It’s not advisable to be instantaneous but don’t wait for a lifetime to get to the right moment because it might never come. There is nothing like the perfect moment and if there is, it’s this very moment.
9. Be specific about the subject of the compliment
Don’t deter from your subject of admiration and stay true to your words. It’s advisable not to fumble too much and concentrate on emotion more than practicality.
10. Be sure you actually acknowledge what you compliment
Make sure the object of your affection doesn’t take your words the wrong way and the words you use convey exactly the very same thing that you feel.
11. Don’t second guess yourself before saying anything
Be sure of the way you feel about the thing you’re about to compliment. Listen to all the voices and decide which one is going to be released through words when you open your mouth.
12. Don’t rush out without waiting for a reaction
Pause. Wait for the person whom you’re complimenting to respond. That makes both of you feel better.
13. Don’t compliment someone expecting something in return
Don’t expect anything to come back to you. Complimenting someone is merely expressing yourself, it doesn’t work like the barter system. If at all something comes back, it’ll only be a very pleasant surprise. 🙂