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Okay, let’s lay down some things and accept them as universal truths.
1. Twitter is a gold mine of the best humour on social media.
2. Indian Twitter is 10× better.
3. Women are the absolute bosses of Indian Twitter.
Now that we have the obvious out of our way, let’s just take a look at the absolutely sharp-witted, hilariously on-point, and just basically badass women on Indian Twitter.
Here are some of the best.
1.
TV pe show ek dhang ka nahi hai par remote pe button itne hai ki banda aeroplane chala le.
— froot cek (@Oinkoo) July 15, 2014
2.
Ugh hate it when I suddenly can't wear my torn underwear because I'm in a 'relationship'.
— relatable content (@amyoosed) November 7, 2014
3.
me- so lol friendzoning is like rsvp-ing "maybe" to a facebook event invitation
uber driver- pls ask my salary like everybody else
— bangsty (@_bangstea_) September 24, 2015
4.
https://twitter.com/AccioBae/status/606723747286892544
5.
On a serious note, Gandhiji is not smiling.
— Poonam Khatri (@poonamkhatri) July 30, 2013
6.
Yaha logo ka roka ho raha hai, aur mere sath ab bhi dhoka ho raha hai.
— BeingNita (@VinithaShetty) April 17, 2016
7.
https://twitter.com/lovehandle_/status/323660201171488768
8.
Just did the hand-out-of-taxi-to-feel-the-rain thing from Wake Up Sid and cabbie yelled at me saying "PEHLE BOLNE KA NA RIGHT LENA HAI"
— bangsty (@_bangstea_) June 24, 2013
9.
Jab dono "didn't told" se hain raazi,
Toh kya karlega Grammar Nazi?— stay away from me 🌏 (@meghaonthemove) October 17, 2012
10.
"Hasta kya hai be ?"
"Verb"— 💯 stay at home mfs (@mumbaiifreak) October 25, 2013
11.
Bhaiya, puchke mein thoda aur teekha daalo pic.twitter.com/TiUbRQ2p5m
— Ankita (@lady_gabbar) September 10, 2015
12.
Hey @britishairways, here I have made you a new, improved campaign. xoxo pic.twitter.com/mqLDXIDaJs
— namaah (@thehappyn00dle) February 16, 2016
13.
https://twitter.com/supaarwoman/status/585517839290892289
14.
Daft Punk on the way to work. pic.twitter.com/AqtYgr0icH
— Anuradha (@anuradha_kush) May 20, 2016
15.
Q. How do the Emirati babies cry?
A. "uae uae…"— Abe Saaley (@dashhtweets) February 25, 2015
16.
A man walks into a bar.
Everyone gets up and greets him cause he's their boss and it's not a bar it's a conference room and there's no joke— Shruti (@ShrutiSeTakkar) December 3, 2015
17.
"Toh Kya Ukhad loge?" is something you never say to a Dentist
— Priyanka (@PriyankaLahiri_) June 13, 2013
18.
Uncle : Beta abhi kya age ho gai hai tumhari
Me : 29 ki ho gai hun.
Uncle : Tumhari age me toh mai 35 ka ho gaya tha.— this account is dead (@LEDtvn) May 7, 2016
19.
https://twitter.com/nandu/status/590154051058143234
20.
"I can't believe you're single. I mean, who wouldn't want to go out with you?" "Hey, do you want to go out with m–" "Ooh look aeroplane!"
— namaah (@thehappyn00dle) October 9, 2012
21.
Sharmaji ka beta pic.twitter.com/dBSHQ7xtMi
— Sneha (@ClassicallyWild) May 23, 2016
22.
If we don't get off the flight within the first 50 seconds of it landing, the flight will take off again with us in it – Indians
— Priyal (@priyal) December 12, 2014
23.
Friend just dropped me to metro station in his white Swift Dzire and I ended up saying "bhaiya trip end kar dena".
— Namelass (@DilliBelle) October 28, 2015
24.
Friend just dropped me to metro station in his white Swift Dzire and I ended up saying "bhaiya trip end kar dena".
— Namelass (@DilliBelle) October 28, 2015
25.
https://twitter.com/PunsTurnMeOn/status/626339584989728768
26.
At a restaurant –
Me: Excuse me, isme celery bahut kam hai.
Waiter: haha aapki bhi?
Me: haha
Waiter: haha
Me: Crie
Waiter: Crie— s. (@desimarthastew) November 13, 2015
27.
https://twitter.com/MissTumbledore/status/651422513008783361
28.
Used so much Fair&Lovely on my face that now I can't even walk down the street without winning sports tournaments or getting job offers.
— Ghamand ki baat (@Just_Screams) November 4, 2015
29.
Didi tera dewar deewanaaaa
Haye ram kudiyon ko kare sexually harass under the garb of archaic tradition giving his actions legitimacy.
— harnidh (@chiaseedpuddin) April 8, 2016
30. Let’s not forget the most epic one by none other than Sushma Swaraj.
https://twitter.com/M_VenkatM/status/742392867830824960
Brother I cannot help you in matters of a Refrigerator. I am very busy with human beings in distress. https://t.co/cpC5cWBPcz
— Sushma Swaraj (@SushmaSwaraj) June 13, 2016
They know their shit, and they know their wit!
H/t: Huffington Post
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