13 Dialogues You Will Hear From Every Shopkeeper In India

Out of all the people in this world who can piss you off, most of the credit rightfully goes to shopkeepers. The things they say to sell you their products are the most annoying things one can ever hear. All you want is the truth about what you’re buying, and if you’re paying the right price for it, but apparently that is too much to ask for.

Here are some of the popular lies shopkeepers tell us to make a sale.

1. “Isse better aur sasta kahin nahi milega”

1

Oh, really?

 

2. “Imported maal hai, sir”

2

Good lie, haan? Good one.

 

3. “Return nahi ho payega”

5

 

4. “Abhi bandh ho gaya hai production. Ye dusre brand ka kharid lo. Behtar hain”

10

Uh huh. Please lie away.

 

5. “Hero heroine log yeh use karte hain madam”

6

And how do YOU know that?

 

6. “Madam le lijiye, yeh colour aap par bohot suit kar raha hai”

12

Thanks.

 

7.”Sab maal bik gaya. Ye Last piece bacha hai”

7

Oh God, please don’t let this be true.

 

8. “Fixed price hai madam”

3

Yes. And a random sign board in the shop will forbid me to haggle.

 

9. “Madam price hum nahi fix karte. Company se aata hai”

11

Come on. You can lie better than that.

 

10. “Hum pehle hi discount kar ke bech rahe hain”

9

 

 

11. “Doosri dukaan mein isse zyada price ka milega”

8

Ok.

 

12. When you fight back: “Lena hai toh lo, nahi toh rehne do”

4

Attitude and all that. Wow.

 

13. And then, when you leave without buying: “Chalo aapki bhi nahi, meri bhi nahi 150 de do”

13

Finally. That’s what we were looking for.

For all the shopkeepers out there:  Tum hume sach do, hum tumhe paisa denge.

Cover image source

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