Marriage and honour, in India, are not mutually exclusive. As dismaying as it sounds, even after so many years of independence, India and Indians are living in a world full of regressive beliefs that refuse to evolve with time. Yes, we may call married, ‘domestic’ women homemaker now, but the oppressive notions still adjudge them as housewives.
And God knows, there are very few who take a stand against the society that mocks the institution of marriage. Call it our stars but we have found one from the pool who has an important story to tell. A story of a bright girl who lost herself and her career to parental and societal pressure.
In a series of tweets, this story of a girl will make you ponder a lot of things.
https://twitter.com/UGpk/status/831914520557867015
Read the entire story here.
1.
There was this girl in my school, back in 90's. Brilliant, studious, hard working, very confident, a topper, a debater, a class prefect….
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
2.
We were class fellows. She was the kind of girl with whom boys talked after rehearsing. Despite mad competition between us, we were friends.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
3.
I guess the proudest moments of my school and college life were whenever I scored better than her in exams. Couldn't beat her in confidence
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
4.
We both chose engineering after college and graduated. I chose to work in an industry and she chose to pursue Masters in engineering.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
5.
Later, she joined one of the best universities of the country as a lecturer in Engineering. That's when her parents decided to marry her off
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
6.
An arranged marriage in a well off family meant that she had to quit job & live as a house wife. This wasn't all, guy was a college dropout.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
7.
She resisted as much as she could. But after sometime, she agreed to everything saying, "my parents are too old& scared of me being single".
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
8.
Parents, too old and too scared. That was the reason for this brilliant girl to give up all her dreams, her ego and her career.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
9.
The guy was nearly an uneducated, spoiled brat of a business family who couldn't stomach a woman having an education, or an opinion, or ego.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
10.
In no time after her wedding she realized that he was verbally and physically abusive and his family supported and encouraged all this.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
11.
But she kept quiet in the face of all abuse because her parents were too old and too scared.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
12.
She had no money to spend on herself and her husband never bothered to give her a penny. She had already quit her job. So there was no way.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
13.
Very recently she texted me that her husband had beaten her and given her talaaq twice and if after two times talaaq she could live with him
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
14.
Shocked, I asked why would she live with a man so abusive and so insulting.
Her reply was, "My parents are too old…. sick and scared."— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
“My parents are too old, sick and scared”
A reason that forces most of the girls with ambitions into a life of anonymity.
While that was her story, her friend tried his best that it doesn’t become somebody else’s.
15.
Girls! Your parents love you. But one day, they will be old, sick and scared. DO NOT QUIT YOUR CAREER FOR MARRIAGE.
Earn you own money.— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
16.
It does not matter if you're thirty or thirty five, do not marry, I say DO NOT MARRY a man you feel is unsuitable for you.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
17.
Parents! One day, you will be old, sick and scared. Please raise your daughters as persons and not as commodity. Let them work and earn.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
18.
Teach your girls to live on their own and never depend on a man for their survival. Do not force them to marry if there is no compatibility.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
19.
Parents! Don't panic if your girl is in 30's & single. Let her pursue her dreams. Don't blackmail your girl for marriage. This isn't love.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
20.
Girls! Do not be blackmailed in the name of family, honor or parents. You are the ones who have to live with the man, YOU decide.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
21.
Parents! Teach your sons to respect women. Teach them that they're marrying a human being and they're equals. Let your daughter-in-law work.
— Usman Ghani (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
No, just carrying a briefcase to work doesn’t make you a feminist but standing up for your own rights and life choices does! If only people understood that. We appreciate Usman’s efforts in throwing light at such a predicament and second his thoughts.