13 Reasons Why A Happy Gamer Doesn’t Need A Girlfriend

Do you like computer games and really love playing them? Do you love them more than people, and think that they are a better pastime than any other pastime?

Me too!

1. You feel happy in the morning

As you are in the bed in the morning, in the process of waking up, you reach out to the other half of your bed, your eyes half open and you touch her warm body, smooth and the curves, just perfect. She made you happy last night, and she’s still warm. Because she’s still turned ON.

Because she’s a laptop. A gaming laptop. Your gaming laptop.

 

2. She makes you happy

You can play games on her, with her, and she will never complain. The games bring you happiness.

 

3. She is flexible and an all-rounder

She fetches your mail, she gets you your Facebook too, keeps you connected to the outside world, while you game the shit out of her. She auto-corrects your stupid typos and horrible grammar. And not to mention she does all of this
and still has enough processing power to play games with you.

 

4. She gives you her 120 percent. Literally.

You just bought the latest game, and your laptop cannot really take it, because the game is really big, on space and processing power. The laptop becomes anxious when you put the enormous game inside her.

You ask her, “Can we overclock it to 3 GHz baby?”

She says “Yes.”

And you play that game. She literally gives you her 120 %.

 

5. You spend happily on her

You get a raise and the first thing you think about is a RAM expansion, or a liquid cooling mod, or a new GPU. No matter if your brother is broke or your best friend needs money to go on a date, or your mom really wants that sofa to up the decor back at home.

On everyone else, you spend your money grudgingly. On her, you spend it happily.

 

6. You spend more time with her than anyone

Through the wintry mornings, snuggled in a cozy sweatshirt, her cooling fans purring and exhaling that warm air into the already cold room. Through the hot and humid summer afternoons, and the late nights when even the mosquitoes have gone to sleep.

You can take her anywhere and she will still make you happy.

 

7. She lasts long, really long, and you lose yourself in her.

Those marathon gaming sessions with your friends, hours pass by as seconds and the next thing you know it’s midnight and you haven’t eaten the whole day.

She never whined or cried all this time. She stayed with you, made you lose yourself in her.

And they say, in true love, you do not know how time flies by.

If this isn’t love, what is?

 

8. She challenges you

With just a push of a button, she makes it hard for you. You have had it too easy until now.

The game suddenly demands more attention, better reflexes and a hell lot of concentration.

The sense of achievement after a hard game is very fulfilling and she gives you that.

Just at a push of a button.

 

9. She never cries when you get a new laptop

“I got a new laptop honey”

“Oooooh. Is she good?”

“The latest”

“It’s ok, we can still play FIFA 2005 on me, right? “

“Yeah babe, anytime.”

 

10. She fulfills all your fantasies

She helps you kill Nazis, and she helps you kill the terrorists.

She helps you become Federer or a Messi or a top class F1 driver.

She helps you slay dragons and dinosaurs and zombies.

How many girls can say that?

 

11. She is always there for you

It is 2 AM and you can’t sleep, you reach out and she’s there and she can boot up in just 10 seconds.

And just 2 seconds, if she was in the sleep mode.

She’s always there for you. You just have to count to 10.

 

12. You feel sad when you turn it off

After the game is done and you shut the game down, the whirr of the cooling fans cools down to a soft purr and then a faint vibration under your palms, you are happy with the high you just got. The game was good and you pushed the right buttons and you won.

And now you are too exhausted and sleepy but you really do not want to turn it off.

So you just leave it on. Or put her to sleep.

And then you go to sleep too.

 

13. She will never leave

Say, one day, God forbid, you actually get a life, a real one, with a real person, who actually had the gumption to like you back. No, you do not game so much anymore, and yes, you spend more time with that real companion of your life. But when everything is asleep, and you still feel that itch of gaming, she’s always there.

And the time to turn her on is still very short.

8 seconds to boot. And just 2 seconds if she was asleep.

She is still your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

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