It’s 2021, but unfortunately, sex education and visits to the gynecologist can still be something of a taboo. Recently, a desi Twitter user pointed to her experience on how the questions ‘Are you married?’ and “Do you have an active sex life?’ are used interchangeably by some gynecologists, pointing towards how sex is often only associated with marriage.
Narrating the incident that happened to her, the Twitter user recalled how she visited a gynecologist who asked her if she was unmarried, probing whether the woman had an active sex life. Here’s how she responded:
just went to a gynaecologist, she asked me if I was unmarried, I said yes but sex toh mast dabake chal raha hai. now I'm going to another gynaecologist.
— pranjal nirasha (@PranjalAsha) March 13, 2021
I said, “I am unmarried, yes, but I’m recklessly having sex anyway”
— pranjal nirasha (@PranjalAsha) March 14, 2021
Some people shared a similar opinion and experiences they had on their gynecology visits, where they felt judged for their choices:
Are you married is usually a euphemism for ‘are you having sex’. It would be much better if they just asked ‘are you sexually active?’.
— Neha lakshman (@lakshman_neha) March 14, 2021
I went to a gynaec recently in my distressed jeans and a tank top. She looked at me and was like “you’re not married na”. I was like no, on the contrary, I very much am. Judgement ki koi kami Nahi hai idhar.
— Neha lakshman (@lakshman_neha) March 14, 2021
Asking about sex life is important in gynaecology, however the way your gynaecologist commented on your sex life is totally uncalled. Ideally doctors should be non judgemental while obtaining sexual history
— BHUSHAN MADKE MD (@rashlessdoctor) March 16, 2021
the time I visited a gynaecologist, she asked if I’m married to get to know if I’m sexually active lol
— Prajakta (@PrajaktaRed20) March 14, 2021
Gynaecologist still go by their stereotyped mindset. Just because a female is unmarried doesn’t mean she is a virgin! They need to be progressive in their approach!
— PaYaL Patwari (@DIMPLEDLOLO) March 14, 2021
Giving some perspective, a gynecologist expressed how it is a “sensitive” way of asking patients if they’re sexually active, and has nothing to do with judgement:
I had asked one of my younger patients when she was on her own, sensitively if she was sexually active . She was horrified and said that I didn’t know that one is asked stuff like that. She was & her problem was sorted out but it is difficult for us to know how patients react
— Sanhita (@70skng) March 14, 2021
Another person also responded as to why questions evoking the marital status of the patient could be asked depending on the treatment’s context:
Aur dabake karna!😂🤣😅
But,
”Are you unmarried?” or “Are you married?”
These questions are asked by gynaecologists because if it is pelvic inflammatory disease, they have to treat partners as well.
(Source: CDC👇🏻) pic.twitter.com/JDu6KOFe1J— ಕೀರ್ತಿ ನಾಗರಾಜ್🇮🇳 (@Keerthinraj97) March 16, 2021
What is your take on the debate? Tell us!
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