Have you ever been confused in a relationship where you couldn’t tell whether your partner genuinely cares for you or is it all just a phase that will go away with time? If yes, then you’re not alone. People often mistake love-bombing for genuine love and affection. But first things first, what is love-bombing?
When a person overwhelms you with elaborate romantic gestures, promises, compliments, etc. when there is no reason for them to do so; when their “love” makes you feel uncomfortable and they violate the boundaries that you have drawn for yourself, then most probably, they are love-bombing you. It is a way to manipulate someone into feeling a certain way and is considered to be a huge red flag for a potentially abusive relationship.
Women on Reddit tried to come up with ways in which we can distinguish between genuine love and love-bombing.
For example, one Reddit user placed a genuine lover and a love-bomber in certain situations and narrated how they would behave.
Some said that love-bombing can be thought of as performative and beneficial only to the love-bomber.
People who genuinely care for you tend to be consistent in their goodness and overall behavior.
However, love-bombing is not something just fleeting partners would do. Sometimes, people in established relationships face it too.
Love-bombing also tends to be more about words and less about actions. A person who actually loves you would make an effort to match his words to his actions.
Women suggested that if you want to spot genuine care, test your partner. Express being uncomfortable by their love. If they truly love you, they won’t make you feel guilty for feeling the way you do.
The kind of gifts that you receive can also be an indicator.
Love is supposed to be easy – as easy as making a cup of coffee together in the morning or resolving an argument with food. If it feels like too much hard work, if you are constantly doubting, if you have to compromise on your boundaries and are made to feel guilty about feeling a certain way, then there might be a solid chance that it’s not love.