I love Bollywood, I mean it has everything, it has action, love, adventure and then it also has super obviousness. It’s rare to have that in every movie but most Bollywood big banner movies give you the pure joy of predicting the whole movie correctly. It’s the thing that makes you say ‘I could have directed/written this movie’.
So when do you know it’s a typical Bollywood adventure that you’re about to embark on for 3 hours?
This.
1. Parental relationships are on either extremes, Either the parent is too involved or doesn’t give two damns about the star child.
There is nothing such as a stable parent-child relationship in Bollywood.
2. Without a forced Item number, the movie remains unfinished, even if said item number comes on when the credits are rolling has nothing whatsoever with the movie.
3. There is always a bad guy and a good guy, there is no grey area here. So at some point in the movie the bad guy and the good guy have a duel or a super serious conversation.
Which in turn results in either one of these scenarios.
4. The bad guy becomes a good person or he’s defeated/killed.
5. There is always someone’s izzat on stake, either the heroine, the family or the male lead’s. Izzat is not to be taken lightly in Bollywood.
6. Sanskar is like an undertone to every hindi movie. Even if it’s someone who’s lived abroad all their lives, has no clue about Indian culture, will always have some amount of sanskar, usually greater than your own.
7. God is always watching you. No like seriously.
8. There is always a love story. Even if it’s a movie about kidnapping, there is always a boy trying to get a girl who is waaayyy out of league. Forever.
Because if life anyway sucks, it’s better if it sucks with another person.
9. The main female lead or the male lead are always accompanied by a sidey best friend/sister character who urges them to either go for it and be the romantic waste in this rich wasteland.
10. There is only one way to end a 90’s Bollywood movie. Happily.
We don’t know what sad life is after the popcorn is over.
Are you ready to make your very own Bollywood Blockbuster?
I know I am.
Cover Image Source