Despite the landmark judgment of the Supreme Court of India that recognized transgender people as ‘third gender’ and directed the central and state governments to give full legal recognition to them back in 2014, they are still looked down upon and are subject to bias and harassment, sometimes by their own family members.
However, there are some people like this elderly couple from Chandigarh, who have shed their bias and opened their homes and hearts to them.
Chandigarh nonagenarian couple, advocate Darbara Singh Chahal, 95, and his wife Shamsher Kaur Chahal, 93, are now proud parents of a Dhananjay Chauhan her boyfriend Rudra Pratap Singh, a transman, who had to leave their families after they came out as transgender, reported Hindustan Times.
“Back home in Lucknow, my family, especially my brother, could not accept that I was no longer Mitali, but Rudra,” shares Rudra, who works at a multinational corporation.
“It was difficult for them to accept me as a man and they continued to address me with female pronouns, which cause dysphoria. But here, I can be myself in a family set up and live freely.”
As for Dhananjay, she wanted to stay back in her city and advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights. But sadly, she was left with no choice but to start afresh in a new city after society started discriminating against her family. It worsened after she started donning sarees openly post the Supreme Court’s ruling on the transgender community.
“Nobody wanted to marry my brother’s kids because of me. So, though my family did not say anything, I left them to make their life easier,” Dhananjay divulged adding that she was subjected to heinous sexual abuse while living on her own.
“Earlier, we were living in a slum area in Halomajra. Moving to a good area and being accepted in the society means a lot. There are so many elderly people whose children live away and cannot look after them, and there are many transgender people who are starved of a family’s love and would love to look after them,” the couple said.
The young couple got a new home after the daughters of the elderly couple suggested they adopt Dhananjay and Rudra.
“Samira (the elderly couple’s daughter) and I used to learn Kathak together at the Chandigarh Sangeet Natak Academy. We met by chance after 34 years, and she encouraged me to take up dance again which I had to leave once I came out as a transgender,” shared Dhananjay.
“When she came to know that I had gone to a ‘badhai’ (an event where transgenders are called to bless a new couple or child), and lived in a slum area, she shared the matter with her parents and sister, who decided to adopt us.”
While the young couple is grateful to have found a family, the Chahals are also elated to have kids home.
“We were living alone in a big house. Now, these children take care of us, and there is never a dull moment with them around. More elderly people in the society need to shed their biases and adopt transgenders who do not have families.”
“This will help transgenders get acceptance in the society, and keep them safe from harassment,” said Kaur.
In a world where hatred seems to win overall, the elderly couple and their daughters are setting the right precedent for us to follow.