In A Video Taken Before Death, Buxar DM Talked About Why He Actually Committed Suicide

The story of the District Magistrate, Mukesh Pandey, who took the step to end his life is heartbreaking. We reported yesterday that he wrote messages to all his relatives to inform them that he is committing suicide.

He said in the messages that he will jump from a building and when police reached there – they got a call saying a body has been discovered severed on the railway tracks in Ghaziabad.

In his pockets, Police discovered a note. A further detailed 4 page note was then recovered from his hotel room in the Leela Palace, Delhi.

Mukesh is survived by his wife and a 2-month-old daughter. He married his wife in 2014 and a report in HT suggests that the cause of suicide is probably a discord in marriage.

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The police now has retrieved a video from Mukesh’s phone. In this video he talks about how he planned his suicide and why did he take the step to end his life. In a transcript with Hindustan Times, he reportedly said,

“I have made plan that I will tell lie and go to Delhi to commit suicide. Please inform my family members.”

“I am a simple peace loving man. Since marriage, there have been ups and down in my life. We often argue on something or the other. We both have different personalities.”


In the video, he described his nature as that of a “chalk” and his wife’s as “cheese”. He also said, “She is an extrovert while I am meek and introvert in nature”. Later he adds,

“Excess of anything leads a man to take extreme steps. My wife loves me a lot…I have no pressure to commit suicide. I don’t blame anyone for suicide. I am frustrated with life and don’t think that we humans are contributing anything…”

“If you imagine yourself as a part of universe and journey, you will find that there is no meaning of existence. We knit new webs each day. Earlier, I thought of moving to spiritualism … but I thought that a man should embrace death and finish this ‘E-leela.’ So I am taking this cowardly and escapist step. I have no wish to live…”


You and I have no idea what his mental state was when he decided to take the step. But just because he talked about being an introvert, I would like to urge people to talk about how they feel. No discomfort or problem is bigger than your life.

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