How many times have we heard of people complaining about love and how hard it is to find today. In this age of instant connectivity and 4G network speeds.
They say love is in the air. Then why is it so hard to find?
1. Hectic lifestyles
We move so fast through our lives, we do not care to stop and look. We do not have the time to stop and look at faces. We see the faces of people through the tiny 6-inch screen of our phones but not through the wide panorama of our visions.
We go to work and we come back and we rest. Where do we have the time to fall in love with a person? Even if we do, it will be a liability. A hurdle in the way to our success. A black hole that sucks in your time, money, and attention.
2. Unattainable standards/unreal expectations
The perfect boobs, the perfect height, the perfect biceps – everything is perfect in our heads. And when that potential for love just passes by you, you probably do not even notice. Because we are not trained to go beyond the skin deep.
Even if we do, even then, there is a want of a category of preferred characteristics. Such prejudice kills the thrill of falling for the imperfect and realizing that it was perfect all along. You just didn’t notice it earlier.
3. Gunning for the wrong person
You “think” he/she is the one. There is a difference between you thinking it is true and the reality. Sometimes, the fear of losing a person in our lives is too strong. It can deter a person from exploring better options. I am not telling you to cheat on anyone, but if you do not get the rush of overflowing affection every time you see his/her face, is it really worth it?
4. Not really believing in love
“Bhai, pyaar vyaar kuch nahi hota. Chupp chaap shaadi karke ghar basalo. Pyaar apne aap ho jayega biwi se.”
Love is an abstract emotion. This was taught to us when they taught us the different types of nouns. The problem with anything abstract is that if you stop believing it exists, it actually stops existing. You are what make it real.
If you do not put your faith in something that can really blossom, it will not.
5. Fearing the fall of commitment
We think that love binds us in chains of fire and drags us deep into the pits of hell and imprisons us there. Commitments are not permanent. Nor are the marriages made in heaven. If you are not meant for each other you will not be with each other. But that time you do spend enriching each other’s lives is invaluable.
Fearing to take the plunge into the swimming pool will prevent you from enjoying the joys of swimming. Even though, at the back of the head, you know you have to get out of the pool one day.
6. Fearing to fall in love itself
We are afraid to change, and it is not wrong. Being in a state of mind that is comfortable and cushy is good. But when you fall in love it changes you. People know that, hence don’t want it. The fear of losing yourself is very debilitating and understandable at the same time.
To open up the doors of a very old house in which only one person lived. Make room for another one in that house. He/she will help you clean it up and make it nicer. Let them in.
7. Giving up too soon/Not giving it a second chance
We need everything so quickly we are not willing to wait for it. Love is not a pizza that will be delivered in 30 minutes or paise vapas. You have got to give it time.
And if it went foul, you have to give it a second chance too. Maybe it won’t work, maybe it will. But if it does, it was worth all that pain and waiting.
If it wasn’t, explore.
But do give it time. And that leap of faith.