Have you heard a girl say ‘I don’t discuss stuff like this with anyone’. That’s a big fat lie. We know everything. We dish details like the maids dish colony gossip to our mothers. Granted that it’s just a few odd people that we share these details with but the amount of detail might leave you stunned.
So the next time your girlfriend’s friends smirk at something you said or pretend to look clueless, think again.
1. ‘So it’s bigger than Sahil’s but smaller than Rohan’s’.
Yes they know just how well endowed you are or if the distance between your thumb and index finger really does match the package.
2. ‘So sex is off the table for now, until he realizes why I’m pissed’.
If you’re facing a dry spell or getting some every day of the week, trust me, they know it better than you.
3. ‘He’s not been to the crease yet’.
You could be hitting a home run since day one of your relationship or stationed at base 2 for a year, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know just exactly how much action you’ve gotten and when.
4. ‘Then he went down on his knees and asked me to feed my number in his phone’.
No matter how intimate, how special, how overwhelmingly personal the proposal was, her posse knows when, where, how many flowers, ring, speech and even the look on your face, they could recall the details as if they were present there themselves.
5. ‘He couldn’t even answer my call, but managed to organize a whole night out with his friends’.
You’re probably still thinking this one through, the details are so vague in your head, because who even remembers the last fight, well, her girl gang remembers, just like the North.
6. ‘He’s not a fling, but he isn’t my future husband either’.
The fate of your relationship has already been decided but you have to wait in the wings to know the results, because first it has to have a seal of approval form her closest peeps.
7. ‘His mom’s pissed at him for not working hard enough, his brother has a sore throat and his maid hasn’t come home for days’.
Umm, this is probably something you didn’t even tell her, these are things she picked up from random conversations that go on around you, something very generic you said or don’t even recall sharing. Well, she knows you too well and she managed to put it together.
8. ‘He’s got an amazing torso much better than my ex, but your boyfriend has abs that are way too slick’.
Yes, they compare notes. That doesn’t mean they love you any less or think another boy is better, they simply state to their bestfriends what the real deal is.
9. ‘He can do wonders with his tongue but this one time, it felt like a washing machine was stirring clothes!’
All those bloopers, one offs where your soldier hasn’t been able to get it together, yeah, they know those. On the bright side, they also know everything you’re good at in the sack.
10. ‘He’s amazing, he sends me links to things that I would like, he makes me feel like the most beautiful person in every room, he’s perfect for me.’
It isn’t all bad. You know who knows exactly how much she loves you ? Her friends. She can be one hundred person vulnerable, honest and transparent, without any fear of judgement. There is nothing she can say that’s too shallow or that’s too intense, they understand her. They also understand that if she’s dating you, then you really have something in you worth holding on to.