Women should get married by 20, have kids by 22. Take care of her kids and the family. Always stay motivated to be in the kitchen and purge her dreams and aspirations of having a career. This is how a patriarchal society thinks.
Women are always instructed on what to do and what not to do. And being forced by their in-laws, directly or indirectly, to have kids just months after her wedding is still a common happening in many households.
And sometimes, the continuous nagging might make her furious enough to reprimand her family. This is what precisely happened with this woman who asked people on Reddit whether she is being mean for insulting her mother-in-law after she made comments about her not wanting kids.
In the long post, the 25-year-old shared her ordeal and wrote:
I (25 F) have 4 older siblings, seeing my parents regret having kids and struggle financially and physically I realised at a young age I didn’t want children. I love kids and spoiling my nieces and nephews is what keeps me alive but I’ve never wanted any on my own. I worked my whole life set on the one career so why would i give it up for 18 years of regret? My husband doesn’t want kids either but too loves our nieces and nephews.
Well, my MIL is a strong believer of man being the breadwinner and woman being a stay at home mother and house wife. She’s very old fashioned and so is my husband’s sister. My MIL doesn’t have any respect for me after finding out that i will not be having kids, every time i see her she makes comments like “at your age I already had ___” or “what are you even doing with your life with no kids?” It pisses me off but my husband says to just ignore and we only have to see her at family events.
Now here comes the bad part, my FIL never wanted kids, but MIL baby trapped him and when my husband was 10 they divorced, MIL was depressed for a very long time and is still in love with him.
The other day me and my husband were invited to a small family get together and of course we went. Everything went well and i was having fun. I picked up my husband’s cousins who is only 6 and started playing with her. MIL took notice of this and walked over to me and said “see, isn’t that easy? Now you just have to have your own kids and do this. I mean, what else could you possibly be doing in your life? Stop slacking off.” This pissed me off, in the moment i just said “oh, I don’t want kids. Hey? Kinda like (FIL name) who knows? Maybe my marriage will workout unlike yours because you’re too selfish to take others feelings and wants into account.” MIL stood there absolutely dumbfounded before bursting into tears, everyone immediately rushed over and when MIL told them, some laughed and some were mad. I felt so awful i wished i had never said it. My husband dragged me to the car and said that although she had it coming i could’ve found something else to say instead of absolutely tearing into her like that. I’ve received a few messages saying the same thing but most calling me a fucked up asshole, so AITA? (sic)
There were many people who stood by her side and said that her response was justified.
Some rightly pointed out why is she being insulted and why isn’t Mr husband being called out?
A grandmom’s perspective on the situation.
Anyone in her shoes would have lost their calm. And the fact that her husband hasn’t taken a stand for her is disappointing.