Have you been dumped by someone who you’ve been undeniably in love with forever? Welcome to the club. We’ve seen the movies, we’ve read the articles, we know the stages of a break-up as well as we know our math tables. It’s brutal, to say the least. In such a time, we resort to constant crying and complaining to our best friends, who let’s face it, have had enough after the first few weeks.
So who do you turn to? The answer is calling out to you from your kitchen. It’s a scientifically known fact that some delicious, scrumptious food has the ability to turn your mood around. Now all you have to do is pick up a fork and dig into it.
Stage 1: Why did this happen to me? Why God? Why?
What to eat: Ice cream
This is the time when you’re producing more words than your crying self can utter. Your room looks like it’s been raining tissues all monsoon and your phone bill seems to stretch out like a toilet paper roll. This is when you want to be buried knee deep in Ice cream. A scoop of Mississippi Mud can dry up your tears and put a chocolaty smile on your face.
Stage 2: I hope he/she gets run over by a tricycle and features on ‘Dumb Ways To Die’.
What to eat: Chicken Wings
Let’s move to the stage best characterized by Lily’s “you’re dead to me” stare. It’s the phase where you feel like you can punch the life out of anyone. Especially anything closely related to your ex. You feel like the human version of Godzilla. In this trying time, all you need are some red, hot and spicy chicken wings. Direct your rage towards conquering those wings and it will help you take a load off.
Stage 3: Maybe we’ve changed. Just maybe.
What to eat: Mash Potatoes
There will be a time when you want to go back to your ex. Such is the law of attraction. You will reason with your better judgement, justifying that he/she knows you the best, they still care about you because of that one random missed call, which could very well have been a booty call, so you re-analyse. While you contemplate the fate of your relationship, you should walk yourself to the kitchen and start preparing some mash potatoes. It’s when you eat the mash and realize, some lumps cannot be undone, that’s when you know, you’ve found the Eureka moment.
Stage 4: It’s time to pick an outfit and make reservations.
What to eat: Strawberries
Once you feel like you’ve progressed from stage 3, it’s time to dust those dancing shoes. It’s been far too long since you’ve dipped your feet in the dating pool. The idea is you’re probably not going to find your soulmate on the first date but chances are, you might. Cut up some strawberries and dole them in whipped cream, while you prepare for your big date. A sweet strawberry may bring you all the good luck you need.
Stage 5: I’m the best thing that happened to me. Ever.
What to eat: Chocolate Tart
This, my friend, is break-up Nirvana. Celebrate yourself with some delicious chocolate tarts from your favourite bakery. Chocolate makes it all worthwhile.
Heartbreak has never been so tasty.