We live in a society that is paranoid at the thought of being alone. Most of us feel this overpowering compulsion to cling on to company whether we truly like it or not. So scared are we, at the thought of being left alone that we fail to comprehend anyone’s choice to remain secluded.
We often take such people as a little daft or conveniently conclude that such people have unhappy lives and their inability to have a partner is something to feel sorry about. Such baseless standards put up by the society is maddening and detrimental in a way that makes us drift far away from ever knowing ourselves better in the pursuit of approval – to fit in.
Here’s how you become a different person when you spend time on your own:
1. Your inner conflicts thrive for a resolution…
We all come with our demons, don’t we? Scars of childhood, failures while growing up, the resentments mocked at, the heartbreaks, the ineluctable contrast of what life is to what could have been – everybody is haunted. We let ourselves flanked by people to be distracted from the one unresolved issue that’s been burning in the deepest abyss of our hearts since ages.
We don’t deal with it – we live in denial because we’re scared to analyse in-depth and face the truth. We don’t realize that no matter how harsh it is, there is nothing sweeter in this world than the truth itself. Unless we’re left with our shadows to undergo the catharsis, how can we emancipate ourselves?
2. Your views are built unadulterated by the norms…
We learn a lot from our parents, our families but a lot of them must be unlearned as we move ahead. Your academic degrees are not enough to give you a solid perspective of life. It is with deep introspection that you eventually find out what your views are on delicate and complicated matters like relationships, sex, capitalism, religion, crime, punishment, rebellion, nationalism etc.
You can either spend your time among people and develop a herd mentality on anything and everything or let your solitude analyse the nitty gritty of matters. You have learnt a lot from your parents, your teachers and friends but at the end of the day your thoughts must be free of the patronizing influences of the society. Your solitude lets you become a free, radical thinker.
3. The time of self analysis…
Greatness is hardly ever achieved without time taken to reflect upon our own selves. As we keep ourselves surrounded by like minded people we never really find the time to analyse ourselves because in our conveniently chosen peer groups, we end up engaging in idle chat, gossiping, eating, drinking, making merry and even arguing on politics and economics without ever reaching anywhere fruitful. We either become each other’s soothsayers or just agree to disagree at the end of such layman discourses. What do we take home from such rants – confounded shallowness, that’s what.
On the other hand, solitude lets you question yourself and there is nobody to win an argument over. If you lose a debate against yourself, you’re still the winner. The courage taken to criticize your own self will never be wasted – it will reflect on your work.
4. You’re most romantic when you’re on your own…
Only fools think that those who are not in a romantic relationship are unromantic. Solitude fills your heart to the brim with romance in ways the one’s who shy away from their own company will never comprehend. Instead of settling down with someone without love, our solitude let’s us nurse the essence of love, unharmed, unmutilated by compromise.
It may not have a physical form but at least, it would not be based on give and take. Even if you feel the despair that comes with the essence – the misery that knocks at your door and howls for an answer that can’t be found – you’d need it for the art. So what if you’re not an artist – is living not an art itself?
5. It makes you push your limits…
Everyone should find themselves in times when there is nobody around to call out for. No matter how low you’re feeling, if you endure the time being your own shoulder to lean on, you my friend, will come out the devil in bathroom slippers. There’s nothing that can bring you down, henceforth because you have learnt to work with anything that life has thrown at you.
Now that you’re your own savior, your own judge and mentor, you’d be amazed to the extents you can push yourself when it comes to getting things done. Solitude lets you love yourself, rise in your own eyes and once you let that happen you can’t stand to limit yourself to mediocrity because you know you owe more than that to yourself.