Opinion: Why Are Women So Angry With Ranbir Kapoor Asking Alia To Wipe Her Lipstick Off?

I was recently speaking to a friend of mine who is in a ‘situationship’ with a guy. The issue with them is that their differences are very basic, one of them being that she is a non-vegetarian while he is a vegetarian. While this isn’t an issue for many couples, in this case, the guy ended up telling her, “I’ll turn you into a vegetarian.”

She asked him to F-off.

For generations, women have been controlled. Often the methods to control them were blatant. Often they were subtle.

That top is too skin-tight. Please change it.
Don’t eat that.
I don’t like that friend of yours. Please stop talking to them.
Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?
I don’t like makeup. Please don’t use it.
Let me check your phone.
I don’t like girls who drink.

These are just some of the many things women have to hear on a daily basis from the men in their lives, especially those with whom they share a romantic relationship. To keep things straight – this is what control looks like. This is not love. This is not concern. This is control which many people will try to disguise as ‘love’ or ‘concern’.

At first, these demands may appear small, inconsequential and harmless. But they continue to grow in the long run. A small ‘demand’ agreed upon today breeds the audacity to make unrealistic and unequal demands tomorrow. This is the lived experience of a large chunk of women in the world.

So when Alia Bhatt recently revealed that she applies lipstick and then rubs it off because her husband Ranbir Kapoor doesn’t like it and prefers the natural colours of her lips, many women were concerned for her.


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A post shared by Alia Bhatt 💛 (@aliaabhatt) 

Here is a look at the video wherein she reveals this detail:


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A post shared by VOGUE India (@vogueindia) 

A lot of people might say that those complaining about it are blowing things out of proportion and it is ‘okay’ to give in to your partner’s likes and dislikes and they talk about them having a ‘loving relationship’. However, their idea of ‘love’ might not be ideal.

Controlling behavior often involves trying to exert power or dominance over another person which creates an imbalance in a relationship. This can manifest in various ways, like dictating what the other person should wear, who they can spend time with, or what activities they can engage in. If a person consistently disregards the other person’s feelings, opinions, and autonomy, it could be a red flag for controlling behavior.

However, here is an alternative perspective.

Every relationship is unique. What is acceptable for one couple might be unacceptable to another. Relationships are often built on mutual communication, compromise and respect where both partners communicate their needs and preferences without the fear of being pressured.

In this case, Ranbir Kapoor prefers Alia Bhatt’s natural lip colour. He communicated it to her. She made a compromise.

We do not know about the kind of compromises Ranbir probably made for Alia because that information is not out in the open. So to blatantly brand him as ‘toxic’ or ‘problematic’ or ‘controlling’ seems a bit unfair, isn’t it, considering the lack of information?

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