Do you love your alcohol? More importantly could you tell me every bottle you prefer in order? And even if I didn’t ask, could you give me a detailed explanation about yeast/grapes and every other ingredient that goes in your favourite alcohol?
Then you my friend are an alcohol enthusiast. But sadly there aren’t too many of those in the world, so you have to hang out with people like me. People who can’t tell you where Whisky originated, people who drink the cheapest thing on the menu and down their drinks to get drunk.
So when you hang out with people like me, this is exactly what you’d want to say, but you try really hard not to…
1. Whisky and Scotch are not interchangeable.
2. You don’t take a shot, you’re supposed to nurse your drink and enjoy it.
3. You’re drinking vodka? Are you an 18-year-old girl?
4. Whisky with coke is a crime, nothing less.
5. You drank half a beer? You’re such a kid.
6. You don’t keep whisky in the fridge!
7. Swirl the wine and smell it, don’t just gulp it like it’s pomegranate juice.
8. You don’t drink to get drunk buddy, you drink to scintillate your senses.
9. Trade your 4 cheap drinks with one really good drink, then you’ll know the difference.
10. No dry ice doesn’t make your drink taste better, stop pretending like it’s the shizz.
11. Do you know how whisky/wine are made? No, give me that glass back, you’ve not earned it.
12. Man, at least wait for me to say cheers before you start drinking! It’s basic etiquette.
So here’s me, on behalf of my fellow amateur drinkers, hoping to learn posh drinking trivia!