19 Intelligent Jokes That You Need To Read Twice To Understand

Apparently, intellectuals do not find non-veg jokes hilarious or interesting (or perhaps that is just what they say and don’t mean). But what about the not so intellectual ones? If you are one of the non-intellectuals but totally get the jokes of the big brains, then great enough. But if you don’t, then good luck figuring out the logic hidden in the following listed jokes of the smarties.

These may have you scratch your head a little but once you figure the joke, you are sure to react as if you just saw the gold coin on your table even though it had been lying there the whole time.

1. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, to whom.

IJ_1_1
Image source

 

2. What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

“Do these genes make me look fat?”

IJ_2
Image source

 

3. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.

“You mean a martini?” the bartender asks.

The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

IJ_3
Image source

Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”

 

4. A philosopher says to a linguist “What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?”

The linguist replied, “They’d be more possessive and have more frequent contractions.”

IJ_4
Image source

 

5.  It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally!

IJ_5
Image source

 

6. A Buddhist monk approaches a burger food-truck and says “make me one with everything.”

The Buddhist monk pays with a $20 bill, which the vendor takes, puts in his cash box, and closes the lid.

“Where’s my change?” the monk asks.

The vendor replies, “change comes from within.”

IJ_6
Image source

 

7. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

IJ_7
Image source

A plumber would say- ‘you-niun-ized’ ,whereas a chemist would say- ‘un-ayon-ized’. Gettit? Gettit??

 

8. Helium walks into a bar,

The bar tender says “We don’t serve noble gases in here.”

Helium doesn’t react.

IJ_8
Image source

 

9. Two chemists go into a restaurant.

The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.”

The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too”

IJ_9
Image source

— and he died.

 

10. What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

 “HeHe”

IJ_10
Image source

 

11. A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, “In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.”

But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

IJ_11
Image source

 

12. A hyperbole is an exaggerated claim. No, really, realllllllllllyyyyy exaggerated. I mean, like, the most exaggerated thing in the history of ever!!

IJ_12
Image source

 

13. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

IJ_13_1
Image source

 

14. I would make another chemistry joke but all good ones ARGON!

IJ_14
Image source

 

15. The statement below is true. The statement above is false :/

IJ_15
Image source

 

16. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work!

IJ_16
Image source

 

17. The Higgs Boson walks into a church.

The priest says “we don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here”

The Higgs Boson says “but without me how can you have mass?”

IJ_17
Image source

 

18. I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like..

..”OMg”

IJ_18
Image source

 

19. There’s a band called 1023MB. They haven’t had any gigs yet though

IJ_19
Image source

 

How many of these seemingly twisted jokes could you figure without straining your head?

Cover Image Source

📣 Storypick is now on Telegram! Click here to join our channel (@storypick) and never miss another great story.