Women’s magazines over the years have managed to keep up a little with the times and get their woke on. But you’re still find amidst those glossy perfumed pages articles about relationships, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, and agony aunt columns about how to know if your man is cheating on you.
But tell you what? Nobody did it like vintage magazines did! And here’s the perfect example! Picture the Mad Men era, where a woman has some freedom but is still under the thumb of the man in her life. Her life goal is to find the perfect husband, cook for him, give him children and do all this while looking pretty!
A Facebook user found an article from a magazine called McCall’s from 1958 titled ‘129 Ways To Get A Husband’! And as she totally expected, it blew her mind!
I bought a McCall's magazine from 1958 because the cover advertised an article titled "129 Ways to Get a Husband" and it…
As she shared pictures of the entire article, Kim mentioned how the article title on the cover attracted her to buy the copy because come on! Who doesn’t wanna read that!?
Inside the pages of the magazine, Kim discovered a treasure trove of WTF things, starting with how this brilliant article came to be. Let me tell you, it involved a panel of 16 experts!
If you’re wondering what this amazing ‘technique’ it is that the panel used to arrive on these 129 commandments, you’ll be surprised to know it was ‘brainstorming’!
Turns out, what we now consider a routine team meeting to discuss ideas was at that time a novel concept that was just starting to gain traction!
The ‘experts’ on the panel included a housewife, a newlywed, a stewardess and a song writer amongst other people from different professions!
And now behold the glorious pages that contain the key to landing a husband! (That is if you plan to time travel to the 50s and stay there!)
The ‘129 ways’ are segregated under four steps, you might call it. The first 30 tips fall under ‘Where To Find Him’.
From pulling the damsel in distress card with a broken car to checking census reports for the place with the most single men, feast your eyes on some ingenious tips to find a man!
I think ‘Get lost at football games’ has got to be a personal favourite!
But nothing can beat ‘Don’t be afraid to associate with more attractive girls; they may have some leftovers’! Talk about pulling a Pride & Prejudice move!
The next 40 or so tips are all about letting the man know of your presence… in the room, in his life, in his head, heart and god knows what else!
Nice to know ‘Make a lot of money’ was a good way to attract men even back then! But bandaids to evoke concern? Really?
The FB user Kim who shared this was tripping balls on #40: Stand in a corner and cry softly. Chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong. OMG!
On to the next section, we’re now entering the dangerous territory of ‘How To Look Good To Him’!
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
“Practice your drinking with your women friends first.”
Because God forbid he realises you drink like a fish and swear like sailor when you’re drunk!
The advice on wearing high heels because they’re sexier—hey, you don’t have to tell a woman twice! She loves her shoes more than she loves her man!
Next on our list is ‘How To Land Him’ and mind you ladies, this one is relevant. It talks majorly about how to deal with the man’s parents and friends!
And herein lie some of my most favourite tips, #98-#101!
“Turn wolves into husband material by assuming they have honour.”
These are basically all hints about protecting your virtue while still keeping your man seduced! “Remain innocent but not ignorant, ladies!”
There’s also the primordial commandment that all women have to follow: show him that you value your marriage more than your career.
And now, ladies and ladies, for the final and my most favourite segment (simply because it is outrageous)! ‘Wild Ideas-Anything Goes’!
“If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If your father is fat too, tell the guy you’re adopted!”
Yes. Oh yes. Read on.
I think the only sound advice was to not marry a man who has too many loose buttons!
Once you’re done with ROFLMAO-ing over each one of these 129 ways, it may be nice to count your blessings and realise how things have changed for women for the good. But then again, have they really? Some of these ‘tips’ like ‘marriage over career’ or ‘the damsel in distress act’ or all still very much a part of the attraction game.
But if men really haven’t changed, and these tips worked back then, how off the game am I in my search for a husband? Lol!