Botox is like kajal today.
Everyone has it and no one raises an eyebrow when they see it used – mostly because they are unable to do so because they cannot move their muscles because they applied botox themselves.
Everyone has it and no one raises an eyebrow when they see it used – mostly because they are unable to do so because they cannot move their muscles because they applied botox themselves.
But seriously speaking, the cosmetic surgery industry has gotten out of hand, growing at a humongous rate. You flip through a fashion magazine and you will see nearly a third of every celebrity who either has fake boobs, a lip job, a tummy tuck or one of those butt implants too.
And if you think that butt implants are the most absurd of it all, you are so very wrong, my friend. There are procedures way, way stranger than just butt implants. Take a look.
1. Anal Rejuvenation – a procedure to make your anus look like Miss Universe
You must have heard of anal bleaching, where they bleach your anus so that it looks like it is caucasian.
Anal rejuvenation is a step up from that. First, they cut off all the extra skin and make the a-hole wrinkle-free because you know, wrinkled anuses make you look bad in public.
Then they bleach it so that it is smoother than Aishwarya’s botox-laced cheeks.
2. Enlarging the G-spot. Yes, you heard that right.
Yes, this destroys the myth straight away.G-spots exist. The whole myth that they do not exist came  out because they were so hard to find.
But now, because of this cutting-edge procedure, g-spots can be enlarged. This procedure involves injecting a chemical called hyaluronan into the g-spot.
It certainly makes finding it easy.
3. Bicep implants – for people who are too lazy to pump iron
It is just like your regular breast implant, but for your biceps. And if you want to go the whole 9 yards, you can get pectoral implants too – to make your chest look muscular.
4. Eyebrow tattoo – permanent tattoos for life
This one is actually useful in some cases. For people who have very thin eyebrow hair and struggle to make their eyebrow look visible. But people go out of their way sometimes to make their eyebrows look pretty.
But fail hard.
5. Belly button surgery – for people who are insecure about their belly buttons.
Belly buttons come in two types – innie and an outie. Some people do not like their outie belly button and hence tuck it in.
It looks really good after that, obviously.
6. Eyelash transplant so that you can them long and curly
Move over hair transplant on your scalp. If you feel that your eyelashes are not good enough, you can get them replaced.
For the perfect long ones with the right amount of curls.
Because it is important.
7. Brainless to become a real barbie doll
We are not kidding over here. Blondie Bennett wants to become a barbie doll. The only difference is that she wants to be a true barbie doll – replete with having NO BRAINS.
So, she takes hypnotherapy to lose her brain power, and claims to have lost it a lot too.
Way to go.
8. Palm line changes to change your fate
The catch here is that you have to believe in palmistry.
Then comes the change of fate. Surgeons reconstruct the lines on your palm as per your instructions or the instructions of your palmist.
And voila! Your life is fixed! NOT!
9. Fake testicles for pets
Remember how we take their testicles and uteruses out so that they do not hump all the time? Remember, how that weighs on your conscience?
Don’t worry! Surgeons can put a fake pair of testicles on your pet, and it will look exactly like the real ones!
Hope they mitigate some of your guilt!
10. Slitting the tongue so that you have two tongues
It is called tongue bifurcation. It is simple they just cut your tongue right in the middle, let it heal, and you have got two tongues now.
Just like a snake.
11. Mouth corner lift for a permanent smile
If you thought that Joker went too far with his smile, people are doing it like him. The mouth corner lift leaves you with a smile – permanently.
12. Toe liposuction – surgery to remove fat from your toes
If you think that your toes are too fat, you can undergo toe liposuction to thin your toes. Because people do fat shame toes. The whole procedure works exactly the same way – doctors make an incision and suck away the fat, making your toes look “normal”.
Even Kim Kardashian has had it!
Waiting for science to come up with brain transplant so that we see the sense in this.