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Indian Artist Gets Real About Uncomfortable Millennial Problems And Nails It

byJinal Bhatt
16th January 2018
5 minute read

Remember the time your Instagram feed was flooded with posts about #100HappyDays or some random #100Days challenges? Everyone wanted to share pictures of their perfect lives, their pets, holidays, and so on. But now there’s someone who’s taken up yet another #100Days challenge, only her’s is far more intriguing and, if I might add, perfectly imperfect for the millennials!

Meet @wallflowergirlsays, an artist who is tired of being privy to the unreal lives of millennials on social media. Therefore, she has embarked upon her very own #100DaysOfDirtyLaundry project on Instagram, which aims to bring out millennials’ problems that are taboo, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy and will make ‘char log’ judge you.

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(Model ref: Stock) . I am a millennial. As my mom would say, someone from the lazy spoilt generation. Spoilt for choice – from the bread, veggies & sauces in my Sub to the left or right swipes on Tinder. Choice is a powerful thing. Choices determine my life – be it my career, the people I choose to call my friends, my sexuality, my habits; in short they're a reflections of who I am. Don't be afraid to be the REAL you, Dove screams at me. . . But the hard truth is, we millennials are often choosing the 'unreal' us.. We are choosing wrong to carefully construct alternate identities of who we want to be rather than acknowledging who we really are. We are curating & constructing ideal version of ourselves, all thanks to huge bubble of social media. If I judged people by their constructed social profiles, I would be assuming that my entire friend list is either vacationing or partying. If not that, atleast social media tells me everyone is happy. Like perennially euphoric. But I am neither perfect nor forever happy. Nor is anyone I know. Why then is all I see around unreal versions of people? . . Because, lets admit it, who wants to hang their dirty laundry in public, when I can't even hang my bra in my balcony without my next door aunty judging me. Nobody wants to talk about their dirty thoughts or anxiety disorders or their wild desires, just because we don't want to be judged. . . But my pile of dirty laundry has been growing and is now so big, I have decided this – why not do a 100 day project on the dirty pile? So here goes #100daysofdirtylaundry – I hope to cover everything unholy, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy – be it complicated love, indefinable sexuality, masturbation, periods, over-gloried travel, manic materialism, alcohol binges, smelly farts, burps, ugly scars, anything & everything I am guilty about, ashamed to share in public. . . This project is going to be uncomfortable to do. But such dirt is a part of who I am. Who we all are. Just that some acknowledge it, some speak about it but most people hide it. I am just going to draw and rant about it. (Continued in comments)

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Through her bold and beautiful illustrations, this artist wants to disrobe the ugly truths that lace everyday lives of millennials and leave them out in the open for everyone to ponder and discuss.

“I hope to cover everything unholy, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy – be it complicated love, indefinable sexuality, masturbation, periods, over-gloried travel, manic materialism, alcohol binges, smelly farts, burps, ugly scars, anything & everything I am guilty about, ashamed to share in public.”

Well, then! Full swing ahead with #100DaysOfDirtyLaundry!

As of last week, @wallflowergirlsays is on Day #73 of her challenge and pretty much killing it, not just with her illustrations but with the topics she chooses to discuss through them.

Her posts often include a rather detailed rant about the topic that is an absolute must read for millennials! She doesn’t try to get too preachy or idealistic, keeps her tone conversational and tells it like it is! Have a looksie?

1. She chose to begin her #100DaysOfDirtyLaundry challenge with something rather explosive, literally. Farts! She spoke about how she loves loud, smelly farts and cannot lie!

Read her caption and you’ll know why!

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 1 – #farts . I sometimes love loud, smelly farts and I cannot lie. . . All my life I had been conditioned to believe that farts are ugly. That if you ever find yourself in a social situation where you had this uncontrollable urge to fart, you waged a war on it, fought it out till it died a slow, silent death. And then when the aroma starts to diffuse around the room, you slowly but disgustingly look around trying to pass on the blame onto unsuspecting grand mommies or even your dog. . . . All this drama, till I read this article that screamed, Don't hold your farts, you could die. Ok, not that dramatic a headline, but still it went to say how it's always, always better to let go of your flatulences and it is actually an indicator of your well-being. Farts are just our digestive systems working it out and it even went on to say that inhaling farts (containing hydrogen sulphides) actually reduces our risks of strokes. . . . My favourite fart yet? (Judge me, it's ok) – The second time I farted when I was around my guy. The first time I did, must have been hardly one month into our relationship, it was a super noisy one and I went red with embarrassment and ran into the washroom. But the second time? Oh it was such a hell of a smelly, noisy one that I should have jumped onto a rocket and disappeared into space. But what did I do? I went into a manic fit of laughter. So did he. And that's when I knew, hey this relationship is here to stay. And so are the farts. . . So all I am saying is, go fart away 🙂 . . (Model ref: Deepika AAY, Myntra) #farts #flatulence #gas

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2. Scarred or scared? Every woman who has had to live with her scars and eventually grow to accept them will relate to this one.

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 5 – Scarred . . I had scars on my legs long before I knew Little Black Dresses and Summer skirts would become the standard of feminine beauty. I was in high school when I developed a minor skin condition. Slowly the monster erupted all over my legs and just stubbornly sat there ever refusing to heal. Weekly swimming classes became a nightmare in single piece bathing suits that deemed leg show necessary. I would be the first one into the pool and the last one out. Every wardrobe choice from then on had to pass the will-this-hide-my-ugly-scars test. Forget bikinis, it came down to no shorts, no skirts, no dresses ever. Fresher's Party, Tennis practice sessions, First time Snorkelling – all carry memories of awkward movements in fully covered body suits. . . Fair, wheatish, dark or extra dark, beauty does come in a riot of colours. But have you noticed how every woman of every colour celebrated, be it Fair Angelina Jolie, chocolatey Priyanka Chopra or Dark Lupita Nyong have at least one thing in common? Their pure flawless skin. I felt cheated. Beauty was indeed skin deep. . . A friend of mine once accidentally poured over a pot of boiling milk over her body. She carries around her scarred breasts. An acquaintance once met with a terrible car accident. She still carries around the gory stitches on her legs. My friend recently delivered a baby. She pinged to ask if Bio-Oil would help her remove the ugly stretch marks. . . Scarred women, I thought, all of us. We didn't have a cool story to tell like Harry Potter did, when someone asked how did you get that scar. Maybe, our scars would never heal. Maybe, our hearts did, over time, learning to atleast accept them, if not embrace them scars. . . . #bodypositive #scars #stretchmarks #bodypositivity #beauty #flawless . . (Model ref : Dove Real beauty campaign)

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Love thy scars ought to be a legit beauty commandment!

3. Remember when you thought every touch was innocent and pure? And then adult life happened and you grew wary of every touch, even the familiar ones. The artist mourns the loss of innocent touch.

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 12 – #touch . (Art style inspiration: Kruttika) . When I was a kid, me & my dad used to play this silly game. We would name each other's funny flaws – my bony fingers, his big paunch, my small nose; then go on to proceed 'fixing' the flaws; which meant ample stretching & pulling to make my nose bigger, big time squishing & squashing to make his tummy smaller, painful stamping to make my legs taller & eventually loads of giggling as we both rolled over the floor fighting like Tom & Jerry. . . I was a scrawny 7 year old kid then. Our innocent games continued till I hit mid-school & then whenever we were about to play this game, my mom would suddenly appear & start lecturing my dad, "She isn't a kid anymore, she is growing up, you can't play such games anymore". My dad's feeble, "But she is still the same old kid to me" argument never stood the chance. Puberty hit, we stopped playing altogether, friends became cooler than parents and eventually I grew very distant from my dad. We were still like any father-daughter, him scolding me forever, him always being present at every milestone of my life cheering me on. But something went missing. The innocent physical touch we shared. & how it had once been my bond of love with him. . . Why is it that some touches are pure while others dirty? Why is it okay that, to this day, I can lie on my mom's lap & cry about how the world is unfair, yet hesitate to give my dad even a customary hug when he is pale & ill? Why is it that I can cry for hours leaning on the shoulder of a female friend bitching about my ex-boyfriend, yet hesitate to hug & kiss goodbye to my male best friend as he leaves to college in another country? Why is it that I can play squishy-squashy with my dog yet remain forever alert in every party not to move closer to any of the drunk guys, even though they may be my own friends? . . Holding hands, leaning on shoulders, tight hugs, physical rolling-on-the-floor fights – things that once meant pure, unadulterated love to me. And then shitty adult life happened with its 'conditional' hugs & kisses & I could never again break the invisible wall with some people I dearly love.

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4. It is a sad truth isn’t it? We’ve internalised misogyny so much that a woman’s biggest enemy is, in fact, a woman. Patriarchy aside, let’s just treat each other right first, ladies?

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 15 – Internalised misogyny for dummies . . – "All my best friends are invariably guys. You know how most girls are, "OMG this shade of coral lipstick is so on point, OMG that burger has 300 calories". I am not like those girls & anyway guy friends are way more cooler dude", said every girl ever. . . – "Girls are so much drama man. I would rather live in with a low maintenance guy than with a fussy, emotional drama queen". . – "She's a slut. Common, casual sex with every second date, she really has low standards". Same person – "OMG, that guy is so charming. Do you think he will think I'm sexy when he sees me in this dress?" . – "Too much makeup. Could she be any more fake?", to "Did she walk into office directly from bed? Those puffy dark circles and eww, that yellow pullover". . – "A baby not even a year into the marriage, then she quits to be a stay-at-home mom. So very predictable". . – "Dude, she's already 33. Being picky & choosy about prospective men isn't going to help her at this age" . – "My boss is such a bitch. Anyday prefers male subordinates to females. Talk about women being women's worst enemies". . Feminism is not just about smashing patriarchy. #dontbeabitch #bekind . #misogyny #feminism #internalisedmysogyny #womenwhohatewomen #bitchplease #slutshaming . . (Model ref: Stock)

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5. From Joey’s man-purse to Brienne of Tarth’s manliness, what is with this gender-specific accessories and who makes these rules anyway? Can we please be whoever we want to be, irrespective of our genders?

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 17 – Gender Bender . . What is it about us that is bothering you the most? Is it the dense blackforest all over my arms & legs or that I chose to wear this modest red outfit to go with it? Or is it my spotless & hairless man here who tweezes his brows & loves all shades of pink, mauve & tangerine way more than I do? Is it my cropped pixie hair which makes me look like a man or his lip moisturiser that gives a glittery pink sheen? Or is it that I prefer to drive & play Counter-Strike while he prefers to cook & shop? Am I masculine or him feminine? . . . Should you laugh at the feminine man-purse Joey Tribbiani carried around or secretly cringe at the manliness of GOT's Brienne of Tarth? Why are women who hang out with only men branded tomboys or the guys with their close network of girl friends branded soft & feminine? Why is showing my cleavage promiscuous but flaunting your toned abs manly? Is confusion about gender identity real , being gender non-conforming & gender-queer a fiction or just a fad? . . . Maybe, just maybe, gender roles aren't farce. We cannot inter-change testosterone to estrogen & there are still some things better suited for women than most men and vice-versa. But gender roles(or rules?) enforced by culture? Blues or the pinks, avengers or the Barbies, hard whiskeys or the light breezers, oxfords or 6 inch stilettos, bread-earners or the house-makers, there lies the problem – Confirming to gender roles enforced by 'culture' & the consumerist brands. . . Not, let men be men & women be women. Who are these ideal men & women anyway? And what's masculine and what's feminine anyway? Forget gender equality, the one that needs forgetting is gender conformity. Think we all have had enough of don't sit like a man with your legs stretched out or don't cry like a girl. Let any man or any woman be whoever the hell they want to be. . . . #genderisasocialconstruct . (Model ref: Mandira Bedi, Stock)

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6. Guilty! I’ve probably done all of the “Ewww gross!” things on the list mentioned in the caption. Except maybe #2 and #13! What about you?

7. “The problem is how society sees men as whole, women as only a sum of their ‘parts’.” Hey society, my boobs are not a piece of meat!

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 21 – Piece of meat . . (Model ref: Stock) . . Women's breasts are commodities. To be gazed at. To be used for selling men(& women) stuff. To make women everywhere believe that their own is always inadequate(whether its a 28C or a 40D). . . . Some years ago, I read a desperate click-baitish headline 'Free the nipple movement gains huge celebrity support'. I couldn't help but wonder if this was another sexist ploy by men to 'convince' women to bare it all. . . The campaign's virality might have partly been due to that, but it started out as a fight for Gender Equality arguing that women, like all men, should be free to bare their nipples in public – Be it a mom breastfeeding in public or a woman who just felt hot in the sweltering heat. Quite naturally, the controversial campaign went viral. Celebrities & millions of supporters were quick to join marches, quick to upload their bare-top photos on social media, only to have police dissolve their protests or Facebook & Instagram remove their photos citing vulgarity. . . I have mixed feelings about the campaign. But the question that it raises is interesting – "It is 'illegal', a state crime for women to willingly go topless, yet you can buy dozens of magazines or hit Ctrl+Shift+N to search for a woman without her top. You can use her breasts to sell everything from alcohol to cars to creams, but you cannot let her wear her own breasts?" (Violet Rose, #freethenipple) . . That a woman can take control & sexualize herself willingly is ofcourse wrong and disgusting. Slut, bitch and other familiar name-callings basically. . . The premise is interesting considering in the 1900s it was illegal for men to walk around shirtless in the 'progressive' western world. I am not even kidding. Things changed when four guys went topless in 1934 on a beach at Coney Island, NY and were each fined $1. They protested the fine and won their case. By 1936, it was completely legal for guys to walk around with nothing on top. Men basically had their own #freethenipple campaign even before hashtags were invented. . . Closer home we have an equally controversial story that's quite the opposite. (Continued in comments)

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8. Weighing in on riding the Crimson Flow, the PMSing, the embarrassed whispers when seeking a sanitary napkin from a female colleague, and the repercussions of period leaves. More drama then GoT‘s Red Wedding!

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 40 – Whispers & murmurs . . I wanted to colour the stain under the legs blue, just like an innocuous ink blot, just like ones in those sanitary pad ads. Red does look weird I agree, even when I look down every time, 4 days a month. Wish I didn't have to bleed blue only for the Indian cricket team. . . Hush, I already hear screams of taboo, so let's quickly wash the stain off my lingerie – . . – it's disgusting YET a necessity for every woman out there. It's simply utterly disgusting if u are a woman even acutely interested in procreation. . . – I wouldn't have hated it with such vengeance if all it did was appear coyly 4 days a month & quietly made its way out. But no, it needs drama, just like every woman u say? So it plots to make me sulk, weep over rom-coms 3 days prior, bitterly cry for no reason 2 days prior & transform me into Dracarys, the dragon a day prior. Basically, do not disturb me when I'm PMSing or else I will find u & burn u. . . – quick math- so that's 4+3 = 7 days, only a week a month losing my sanity over the red devil. Just maybe 1/4 of my life ok? Crying, acne-puss secreting, bloating, bleeding, more wailing, more bleeding. . . – what's the new furore on the net? New-age startups introducing an OPTIONAL 1 day off for women on their 1st day of period & everyone's already losing their minds. Isn't 12 weeks of maternity leave enough? 1 more day off a month, that's 12 more days a year(for periods!), aren't u giving companies more arsenal to keep women off the workforce? Staunch feminists disagree. I really don't know. Will some women misuse it? Maybe. Will some really need it? Absolutely yes. (For men wondering, it hurts. Maybe like when u get hit there repeatedly?). . . – which brings me back to something that happened in office. Colleague approaches & whispers in an inaudible voice – psst, do u have it, do u have it? Do I have what? Dragonglass? Cooties? Ebola? Oh, you mean a sanitary pad! Yeah I do. Next time, don't bother whispering. Let the guy eavesdropping in next cubicle know u are looking for a sanitary pad. Why the secrecy about 1/4th of your life? #normalizeperiods #hateitneverthless

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9. “What is it about women wanting to take control of their sexual desires that scares us as a society, making us fear them, admonish them or worse brand them sluts?”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXRFsKBBYaV/?taken-by=wallflowergirlsays

10. To swear or not to swear, that is the question. So, is ‘Fuck you’ ever the answer?

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(Model ref: Stock) . . The above line was uttered in the 1930's film Gone with the Wind, with only the 'last' word different. The film's producers had to pay a hefty fine for using profanity in that dialogue. The last profane word? It was 'DAMN'. Damn was the 1930's equivalent of present day 'Fuck'. The dialogue 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn' would later go on to become a cult dialogue in the history of movies. . . Damn it, funny right? So here's Day 47 of #100daysofdirtylaundry – Profanity. . . My manager at a sales job few years back – "Woh gaandu distributor ne phir maal nahi liya kya? We're so fucked this quarter" The first time I heard this, I went 'OMG Whaaat!' But sales life goes on & a year-of-abuses-thrown-around later, I didn't give a fuck about any more fucks uttered at office. . . Forward 2 years, me at a posh corporate office (as MS Excel crashes for the 10th time since morning) – "What the fuck, dude!". For 5 minutes I had the entire floor staring at me mortified. My boss must have surely made a mental note then – A 'girl' who 'swears' – Double negative. . . For someone who, in 1st year of college, got severely reprimanded by mom for calling my brother 'Poda Goyya' (harmless Tamil slang for useless person), I have come a long way on the scale of profanity. First came the alternatives – What the duck, What the fish. Then came the mellow ones – Dammit, Saala. Then came the actual swears in harmless contexts – 'Fuck yeah!' as Dhoni hit that WC helicopter shot or 'Fuckkk' as I bit my own tongue accidentally. Now? Let's not go down that hole. . . An Harvard study tells me that swearing & profanity work in many ways, both positive & negative. Swearing & positive in same sentence? You got my attention. Apparently people who swear are more honest & swearing serves as an excellent coping mechanism for anything from physical pain (being stepped on by 6-inch heels) to emotional stress (drunk abusing your ex). In tightly-knit groups, like a bunch of friends, swearing brings people closer to one another(Hey shit-face, whats up!). If I dig more, I am sure I will find studies that proclaim that 'Four filthy swears a day, keeps morons away'. . . (Cont.)

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11. How many times have you let that creep get away with touching you inappropriately, catcalling you on the streets or leching hungrily at your every orifice? All because if you pretend it didn’t actually happen, then it will go away?

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 51 – Creep-nation . (Face reference – Sutabombay) . . 5th standard. 8 AM over-crowded local bus back home from summer sports camp. "You look exhausted, do you want to come sit on my lap, child?" smiles the 40ish bus conductor with yellow teeth. I oblige, it was a 2 hr journey after all. I kept quiet because nothing wrong with a stranger's kindness right? . . High school. Physics Lab. A girl's only class. A brilliant 50 year-old Physics teacher. Beads of perspiration on my forehead anxiously awaiting the Mid term results in his hands. "Come here kid, you have done good. 98/100, next time I expect a centum" Pulls me in a tight embrace & appreciatively pats on the back, then the lower back. I was the happiest kid in class, finally I get to beat my best friend. Until, he does the same to the next girl, and the next and the next. Marksheet, embrace, pat on bum. I kept quiet because nothing wrong with a respected teacher appreciating students with hugs & bum pats right? . . Freshers party. Thrown by seniors at a hip club. 3 rounds of tequila shots down, two of us walk into the girl's restroom only to find a friend sitting on the floor staring into space. "The party's just getting started, don't tell me you are already sloshed". No answer from her. "Are you ok?". "Well, I was dancing with the girls. A senior guy pulled me from the group insisting on one dance. The girl's egged me on, "Common, he's cute". Halfway through the dance, I am pretty sure I felt something rock hard grinding on my back. I turn around shocked & he gives me one of his coy smiles. Next minute, he is off casually to dance with the other group". I kept quiet because I told myself what could I do? . . . Last year. Juhu beach. Sitting alone after a run staring into the sea thinking about the last 2 years in the city. "How much to go?" asks the curly haired stranger. "I'm sorry what?". "How much is the rate to go?" he repeats, placing a hand on my shoulder. I kept quiet & ran. . . & these are only the ones I feel vulnerable enough to share out. All the dirty hands that want to grab a piece of a woman. Last I heard even Trump wants to right? Go grab them boys. . (Cont)

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12. Even if a million imperfections come together in your body, you’re still beautiful. #BodyPositive always!

13. Every girl’s guide to millennial hookups. What’s your poison?

14. Doing your bit for the Free The Nipple movement. Although only at home because home is where the bra comes off!

15. Is being vain and seeking validation on social media a cloaked cry for help? Some food for thought. Must regurgitate!

16. Let’s talk about our deep dark fears, of every nightmare that we’ve ever had, of everything that keeps us up at night, cowering in cold sweat as we wait for dawn when all will be right again.

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 65 – (Not) Deep dark fears ft. Gregor Samsa(s) . . In no particular order, 'Fears' – . . – A dying baby animal/plant . – Counting minutes left to leave office, counting sheep unable to fall asleep at 3 AM, counting days left till Friday and counting weeks left till the next long weekend and one day suddenly realising life actually passed by in entirety without realising. . . – 6.22 PM Virar fast local (Come see maximum city, minimum dignity of life) . – Compliments on work (The imposter syndrome – 'You talking about me? Really?') . – A life of mediocrity. . – Everything without legs (snakes, fishes) and some with legs (creepy gutka-spewing humans, cockroaches) . – Blind cynicism (The subtle art of not giving a fuck is cool and all but what's life without atleast some things that you give a fuck about?). . – Excessive vulnerability (this project for one) . – Unrequited love and at the other end of the spectrum, the ones I rebuffed. . – Extremism & fanaticism of any kind (nothankyou) . – Dying in my least favourite clothes and without my eyeliner game on point (Hail narcissism) . – Tangled messy eeky hair in the bathroom sink. . – Sleeping alone, horror movies, nearly-headless ghosts under bed (Shameless adult-child forever) . – Not walking the talk. . – Rage . – Strange surreal dreams and the uncomfortable truths they make bring out. . – Money, less money & more money. . – Also, people in general. . #fears . . (Model body ref: Stock)

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17. Do you have what it takes to be the black sheep? The non-conformist who shows a middle finger to what’s ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ and does what they want to?

18. Our national past-time is taking offense, which is responsible for the rise of trolls, whose comments, in turn, incite more offense. So then, shall we just keep our opinions to ourselves?

19. Adulthood: The struggle is real!

How is it possible that I still forget to do most of the things I sticky note? SOS!

20. It’s not real unless it’s digital! Well here’s my proposal then. Will you be my ‘It’s Complicated’ on Facebook? #PicsOrItDidntHappen

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#100daysofdirtylaundry Day 74 – It's complicated. . If your relationship isn't online, is it even real? . . But your WhatsApp profile picture is only of you staring into cosmic emptiness, your Facebook relationship status is undefined, both of you don't tag each other in hilarious existential memes, your instagram has no trace of birthday gifts or fancy AF dinners with your 'fave' boy, there are no common movie or pub check-ins, no photos together with a dozen comments of 'you guys are so cute ❤' written underneath, are you really, really sure your relationship with this 'guy' you proclaim isn't imaginary?. . #someoneaskedmesomethinglikethis . #willyoubemyitscomplicatedonfacebook? #millenialandgenzproblems #hobbestomycalvin #imaginaryfriends #loveinthetimeofhashtags #relationships

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Are you floored or are you FLOORED by #100DaysOfDirtyLaundry?

Of course, there were only a few of the 73 posts that she has shared and another 26 are yet to come. But each of the posts seems to leave one disillusioned about a fake reality that we have come to accept as a norm.

I’ve been truly woken up by this fresh and take on #JustMillennialThings. What about you? Are you likely to do the same, wash your dirty laundry in public anytime soon?

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