We spend the dweeby part of our pre-teen years talking about boys. Not all the time, but, often enough to know exactly the kind of boyfriend they want and the one they deserve. When you grow older you realize that you spend as much time with your friend’s boyfriend as you do with your laptop, which is a whole damn lot. So when you see some annoying traits, you can’t just look away.
Because you know this is going to end badly for everyone.
1. The one who teases her about her insecurities
You’ve spent years telling her how beautiful, smart and independent she is and then this horrible human sweeps in and teases her about being fat, about being dumb and being different? That is in no way acceptable. You don’t want her to change because he wants her to, you want her to change, because she wants to.
2. The one who’s all about flirting with everything that moves
He’s the guy she keeps making excuses for. The one who has a different girl on his arm every day and calls them his ‘friends’, while getting some action on the go. He hits on you, he takes random girls on dates that eh should be taking your  friend  on and then has the audacity to call himself her boyfriend.
3. The one who’s always out with guy friends
He’s constantly ditching your bud and prioritizing his own friends while giving no thought to his own girlfriend. So much so that she ends up hanging around, waiting for him to get free, but you still haven’t met him and nor has she.
4. The one who makes you his BFF unwantedly
This guy is the complete opposite. He thinks you are his new BFF and it’s 100% okay for him to share all of his feelings with you. You suddenly realize that he’s more present in your life than even your best friend.
5. The one who self-invites himself to your plans
He has no sense of space, boundaries or shame. He comes and ‘surprises’ your friend even at the Chai Tapri, where you’ve been for a whole of 5 seconds. You haven’t even been able to breathe in your friend’s presence because he’s all up in her space.
6. The one who takes PDA to a whole new level
A step further is the guy who can’t keep his hands off of your best friend. It’s cute at first until he thinks it’s okay to go second base when you’re in the room. Not cool at all.
7. The guy who tries to set you up and tries to make you feel like less of a third wheel
He’s the one who constantly shows you pictures of one boy after another, just like Pammi aunty. But unlike that situation, here there is no escape. So he’ll try to set you up with every single male friend for one of two reasons:
a. He needs you around because your friend’s parents won’t allow her past curfew unless you are there.Â
b. He feels bad for your single status.Â
None of these boys are welcome in the sacred best friend zone.
8. The one who thinks you’re a threat to their relationship
Yeah, this happens with girls too. There are these epically weird guys who believe that if you don’t mind flings or don’t need a relationship to have fun then you might ‘spread’ this attitude like a common cold. So they will definitely try to separate you from her. Because who needs logic in this world.
9. The one who takes up all her time
New boyfriend = Infatuation but when that turns into New boyfriend = the world, then the boy has got to go.
10. The one who crushes her hopes and dreams and convinces her that it’s the right thing
She’s smart enough to know what she wants and this dude convinces her that he knows better. He tells her ‘Hey, you don’t need to work’ or ‘Hey, you don’t have to be a doctor, you could just be a pharmacist’, then you have to be the one to kick him out.
11. The one who isn’t ready to ‘define’ the relationship
This is basically the 21st-century version of ‘Meri Shaadi kisi aur se fix ho gayi hai’.
12. The guy who goes from being a bunny in front of her to being a snake when she’s not around
When he’s the nicest person in the world to her but once she’s out of earshot he suddenly becomes an abusive, insensitive A-hole, who talks about her like trash. And then you have to be the person who shows her what he’s really like, even though you swore to have a drama free year.
13. And finally, the guy who could never love her more than you do.
But then again, that’s not even possible.Â
