10 Hard-Hitting Truths About Love That Can Only Be Learnt The Difficult Way

Love is like that grumpy teacher you had in school. Everyone liked him, but he was brutal in his lessons. He made you work hard and punished you until you felt sorry for your mistakes.

Unlike other mistakes in our lives, the mistakes committed in love hurt way more because they hit us closer to our hearts.

We can read a thousand books, be in tens of relationships, but there are some things about love we only learn the hard way.

1. It is possible to love a person and still not be “in love” with them

Most of us realize this years later. Loving a person and being in love are two different things. The difficult part after realization is usually telling your love that you are not in love with them.

But you do love them. The toughest part is then coming to terms with it yourselves.

 

2. It requires hard work and commitment, just like your career or it just fades away

We believe that true love is self-sufficient. It’s true love, right?

Only after we go through hurdles is when we realize that just like the important things in your life, even love requires a lot of hard work and commitment. Sometimes it is even exhausting.

But it is always worth it.

 

3. It is not necessary that the person you love is the best suited for you to spend the rest of your life with

Living with a person and loving a person are two very different things. That’s why traveling and moving in together leads to whole new dynamics between couples.

Suddenly you want to tear them apart after angry confrontations about things we would deem very silly. Classic example – dirty dishes.

Classic example – dirty dishes.

 

4. Love is not immortal or unbreakable. It is as strong as the person professing it.

We tend to idealize love too much. Sure, romantic movies say that love is immortal. Classic love stories say that love is immortal, but they had characters that strong.

Our love is only as strong as we are. If we are weak, our love is weak. If we are strong, our love is strong. If we immortalize our love, it will be immortal.

 

5. Love does not always mean perfect compatibility or perfect chemistry

This is why we feel more comfortable talking to our friends about our relationships without guilt. Our chemistry with our best buddies may sometimes exceed the chemistry we have with our SO.

We realize it after we feel more comfortable in the company of our friends than our SO.

 

6. In the process of loving someone too much you can often forget how special you really are

It is very easy to forget ourselves while being deeply in love. We make others feel special and forget that we are special too.

Only when we have ignored ourselves to the point that it hurts our self-respect is when we realize that we need to love ourselves again before we love someone else.

 

7. It is strange how love is much more terrifying than sex

One night stands and even sexual intimacy is easy than commitment and love. Sex is still terrifying for some people, but love and commitment are still scarier.

 

8. Assumptions kill love

“You did *insert assumption*, didn’t you?”

Classic assumptions kill it. Just thinking something up just because “we know” our partner and throwing it in their face is wrong. It starts killing the love between two people.

We realize it only after it’s broken beyond repair.

 

9. It doesn’t take a lot to ignite love, but it takes A LOT to keep it on

Ask anyone and they will tell you the same. Ask the old people, they will concur too. Falling in love is easy. Being in love for a good period of time is hard.

 

10. It is easier to love others than love yourself

Sometimes it is harder to accept some parts of ourselves and come to terms with it. It is easier to accept others for who they are and love them.

And hence it becomes harder to love ourselves. It becomes even harder to show our partners our true selves so that they love us back.

Yes, some parts about love are hard. But if we are ready to learn, even the difficult parts, it can be the most fulfilling thing in our lives.

It is always worth it.

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