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Pop culture makes you believe that a roadtrip is everything you’ve ever dreamed of doing with a bunch of your friends. It’s liberating, it’s cool and it’s smooth AF. But no-one really says how it turns out to be in India with your ‘Items’, your ‘Bantais’ and your ‘chaddi buddies’.
This is what the Indianest Indian roadtrip would be like
1. One month to roadtrip: ‘Dad, I need the car for a roadtrip’.
One day to road trip: ‘Daddy, please ek din ke liye, mom’s swear I won’t scratch the car, if I do you don’t give me next 6 month’s pocket money’.
2. Â ‘Aye, toll ke liye chutte hain kya?’ *Continues to dig change given by every rickshaw driver in the history of his life*
3. Â ‘Side mein rokh na, chai and sutta petein hain’. *half an hour later*. ‘Chai pee ke time ho gaya hain na, ek aur petein hain’.
4. ‘Playlist has become repetitive, let’s switch on the FM’. *Switches on FM to ‘Blue eyes hypnotise teri kar de hai mainnu’. Switches off life*.
5. ‘Let’s roll the windows down bro!’. *Que random traffic on highway, puts head out the window to abuse, only to ram into a beggar*
6. Joys of roadtripping in India 101: Peeing in the green- green grass, under the slightly grey sky with gaonwalas watching.
7. ‘Chal, off roading karte hain’. *Ends up in sugarcane feilds*
8. ‘Ouch, abbey, khadda sambhal ke’. *5 minutes later. Hits head on car ceiling.*
9. ‘Shit dude, let’s clean the car before mom/dad see all this green stuff on the floor mat’.
10. ‘ Next time we’ll get some girls on the roadtrip’. ‘Yeah bro, we should’. ‘But who?’. Long silence.
11. ‘Accha meine Deisel/Petrol ka Rs350 diya tha, I’m supposed to get back Rs 22.5462.
 12. 3 days after road trip: ‘Hey bro, there is still some Khakra that mom gave in the car want to use it as chakna?’
All said and done, it’s an experience of a lifetime.Â
Before you zoom away in your car, grab a medical kit for all the pothole bruises you will endure. Cheers 🙂
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