Holi.
Tis the time people paint the town red (literally), when you can hit your nemesis as hard as you can with a water balloon and you’ll get away scot free, when you can use eggs for something other than cooking and when running around with black colour dripping from your face doesn’t earn you any horrible comments.
Yes, it’s a good place to be in.
But if it also happens to be the time when your periods decide to paint YOUR town red, then Holi can go from happy to hell in a matter of seconds.
1. You can only see the colour red
2. When you run out of excuses to give your friends about why you aren’t coming to play holi.
3. And after a while you just want to punch every person who comes to you and says ‘Holi kyun nahi khel rahi ho?’.
4. You convince yourself just for 5 minutes that it’s perfectly okay to play Holi on your periods, and then you don’t.
5. Your new resolve is to play dry holi and somehow you manage to get the message across to your friends
6. And then the grossness descends upon you, as soon as they throw the resolution to play dry holi right out the door along with a bucket of water.
7. You stay far away from the door, knowing full well that your friends might come and drown you in a bucket of water anyway
8. You resort to throwing water balloons and anything you can get your hands on, that passes off as liquid, down at the suckers enjoying Holi.
9. You keep staring longingly from the window, wishing your periods would run away or everyone would just stop this enjoyment right now.
10. You wait for the food to be served because, to be honest, that’s the only thing you can enjoy this Holi.
11. So when you do go down for the buffet, you behaving like Harry Potter in the forbidden forest waiting for someone to leap at you with bucket of water.
 12. On the plus side, you’re the cleanest person among your friends for the next one week.
So if it’s going to be that time of the month, get a glass of Bhang and get your ass down to the Holi-land.